Thank you, I am sure you are correct that my behaviors are making the situation worse, but I have been trying hard these last 6 weeks to make things better, with only the couple fights really bad where I lost my temper.
I will follow up later tonight when I get a chance and perhaps another member will chime in as well.
I just want to note the italic and bolded parts above.
Please understand that you CAN NOT "make things better".
Work on shifting your thinking.
What you CAN do is, "change yourself to change the sitch".
That means that when you do something different, no matter what it might look like, to change this pattern of attack / attack from the both of you, your H will eventually stop attacking.
I am not suggesting leave and hide in a shelter. I AM saying though that, metaphorically, if you aren't there, he can't attack you. If you've changed yourself and become unavailable specifically to his attacks, you remove yourself as a target.
The answering machine, for example. Don't listen and own what he said. Just understand he was spewing and delete the message.
Letting anger out is actually healthy. That he's targeting you... well, we could call that wrong and abusive. Yet eventually, he will run out of steam if he has nothing more to fuel his fire...
I truly believe that you need to choose and strongly follow the LRT method of DB right now with a strong dose of NC.
Get yourself away from the madness. It will eventually settle down...
Again, his behaviour almost appears bi-polar. And that CAN happen when someone is MLC. Read about bi-polar to see the behaviours. Please note that people don't suddenly become bi-polar in mid life. That's where the MLC is playing a part and is showing up as personality disorders. This is common.
