it took me a while to get there, i stayed waaay to long in the self beating up place of this is all my fault.
NO absolutely NOT. I will not take any responsibility for h's decision to have an affair. there were many many other alternatives but HE chose that. and i did not push him there and i won't take ownership of his issues.
i think i meant that when we talk to s, i won't sit there and be mad and accuse h.
i will admit though that the idea of sitting there and presenting it as a joint decision makes me sick to my stomach. this has always been h's intention - to be a united front in this and it appalls me
i can't say that i'm clear about what i would or not be willing to say, but i am going to trust that when the time comes, i will have reached a place where those things are clear for me.
being loving for s and ultimately towards h - can i sit there and give s the impression that i am okay with this also? hardly...
thanks ces
i will continue to inspect this
hope you are well
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
