Its been over 2 years since the "ILYBIDLY" message was said to me. Actually it was more like, "I'm not in love with you and not sure I ever was..." But either is a kick in the gut, right?
We still live in the same house (different bedrooms). We both still love our kids. We can show courtesy to one another. And in limited fashion we can show empathy to the pain we've caused each other. I say "limited" because this empathy has not yet led us to full reconciliation.
We tried MC about a year ago and it was a bust. W was not ready for it. We were suppose to start again this past Monday and my W overslept and missed the appt. So take 3 on that is on the 20th.
The piecing process continues and once again, I am reminded that even more patience is needed that what I had expected and that I have more to give than what I realized.
Some some random thoughts as I start another thread (This is like the 4th, 5th, or 6th..i lost count since starting on the boards in Dec11).
A few lessons... --I can't do this alone. I've needed God, friends & family to get me through the rough times and still do. --I need to be careful where I get support. Some people just want to see the "pain" end while others help you deal with the pain and keep going. --I am grateful for the people who don't allow me to play the victim. --I have to remember what my goal is and keep working for it. --I have to see my spouse in a loving way regardless of what choices she makes. (God does this for me daily) --I can learn from this situation and let go of those things in my life that don't serve me well. These are behaviors and attitudes that damage me as a person --Comfort zones are great for rest and refreshment, but no one ever grows from being comfortable. --I have advice and wisdom to offer. Not because I'm wise, but because I've fallen down a lot and at least developed a really good skill of getting back up again. --We're all broken in some way. Its part of what makes us human. --I have far more passive/aggressive behaviors that what I that I had and the knowledge of that has helped me change.
There's definitely more but the day calls and I'm off to work. Grateful for the the wisdom and frienships both here and other places in my life.
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
