A Huddle of Turtles

[ces67]

hey Zig, still catching up.... This caught my attention:

i have no intention of implying in any way that this is only h's fault - the affair that is.


While this is very noble of you, I have an opinion to share. Any issue in a marriage is typically the result of a shared fault in how we communicate or deal with one another. However, IMO, you have not fault to take in your H's decision to have an affair. Regardless of the problems, choosing to lie, deceive and break promises is a coward's way to deal (or avoid dealing) with a problem and is a personal choice. You did not force him to make these decisions.

You are wise to look at yourself and take the opportunity to grow. You don't need to take ownership of his issues though.
((zig))