Jks, my heart is so heavy with grief for you. I read all what you said. I don't have any advice. I admire you so much for continuing to have a heart and desire for your family unit to be restored.

You are continuing to stand for what you believe in despite the constant pain.

I guess you'll have to put that energy right now into just making life better for you and the children. It sound like following the avenue of getting a place of your own and a steady job might be a profitable diversion from the energy you are putting into your sorrow over H.

Will your mom be able to watch the kids while you are at work? Can you work from home?

I'm glad you were able to have some great moments this week with your children. Are you journaling those positive interactions as treasures to encourage you?

Me54/H47
'08 H is "done"
March '12 H moved out
Brink of D, December '12
2014 totally reconciled!
......
"I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal."
Jim Conway