I guess I am ready to tell my story now. My fiancee and I have been together 12 years. We planned to be married last fall but my financial aid for the last year of law school did not come through until too late in the summer. He is a professor in Missouri while I went to law school in Illinois, so we lived apart. He is 46 while I am 44. September he buried himself in work, studying a foreign language with a group of women online plus teaching etc. We planned to be in that country for the summer for research and honeymoon. My parents planned to visit as well. As you can imagine we were both so busy and he started not having time to talk as much and multitasking while talking with me on Skype. Then when he came home for Christmas he exploded on me for putting on lip gloss while stopped at a red light. Big fight ensued. I could not understand his unusual and over the top anger. We seemed to make up when I turned around and went home. March he sends me a poem on SKype which I did not apparently get the meaning of for him. Sort of a depressing poem about rekindling love between these two old people. The end of April I was leaving for school and got an odd feeling so I checked his email messages. One was from a woman in another country telling him she loved him. I sent a nasty message to him on SKype saying this was exactly what I told him would happen when he spent so much time talking with other women instead of me. I then took off my ring and left. He called and was stunned when I said I was done, that this crap was just like the other time he cheated on me. A couple hours later I we talked some more. He was still in shock and acted frozen,even devastated, but did not want to makeup or come home and work on things. I walked at that point. A couple days later we began exchanging emails and talking. I went there to either makeup or get my things. He was surprised to see me and had a hickey on his neck-totally unlike him, admitted he was already sleeping with another female. I deduced right away through some previous detective work that it was his student, a girl 21 years younger than him. He seemed embarrassed and defensive. I packed my things from that house and he cried and cried but refused to come home and make up. He lost control of his anger and yelled, called me a bunch of names he never used before and waved his hands in my face. So began the war. We went through weeks of name calling, making fun of each others sexual performance, my dating again, but he never mentioned the girl. When he would get really nasty I would tell him to call the little girl since she was impressed with his limpness and his temper and his 10 minutes of performance. But each day we went back to talking all day long. He then bought the very expensive house he and I had been looking at. This from a man who kept track of every penny and worried about finances obsessively. SOme days were good, but still kept insisting we had "fundamental differences." So many fights about that stupidity. I read the contract for his house purchase and changed a bunch of things so that he would be in the US for closing, financing options etc. He thanked me then expldoed the next day over Facebook crap and jealousy. Then could not figure out how to purchase his tickets for the research trip 2 weeks away. I did that for him, then paid for them as for some reason our joint credit card was not working. He had no idea why it did not work-again crazy. Then on his trip back to his mother's house, not here, he called me and began screaming. I kept hanging up. Finally he threated to come to the house and kill me. He said it would be better than any sex to feel his hands around my throat squeezing the last breath from my body. I told him to come here and go to jail. Then I hung up. A few hours later he called back and apologized. I had the locks changed etc. Then the next day we talked again but I was still mad about the threats so not nice. He kept wanting my help and understanding-saying he did not mean what he said and I should have known that. I told him again to leave me alone and act that way to the little girl-that I was not impressed with that juvenile behavior. Again he got mad and said he would call her since I goaded him into it. Ah, must be true love. Then no contact for two days. Then more anger and threats. Then asked me to take him to the airport. I did it just to make sure he left. All this time he was acting so bizarrely-facebook posts about how he is Thor-god of the world, song clips from new music he never listened to before, forgetting everything. I took him to the airport and he stopped on the way to "talk" but just kept staring at me. Hugged me twice at the airport, then later posted on my facebook "maybe, maybe" meaning maybe we would make up he said. Called me so often the first week he was abroad his phone was shut off due to a bill that was over $1500 in a week. Then continued to talk to me from a phone there and on FB/Skype. Discussed me coming to the city to spend the summer with him. But then I found out the little girl would be there. Fight again ensued. But kept talking with me everyday for hours. Even while staying there with her, he would be on the computer 2-5 hours a day with me. He even told the little girl he was doing that. He scheduled their trips around my availability to talk. Still more jealousy from him, refused to talk on SKype with the video feed except two times. Lots of closeness in words though. Told her lots about what we talked about. I in the mean time continued to go out and GAL alot. Then began telling me he missed me and the dogs. I said I missed him as well. Then return home. I found pictures of all these things he had done abroad that were so uncharasteric of him. He would lie to me and tell me about all the work he was getting done but the time frames did not match so I knew he was not doing the work-this from a man who was always ver dedicated to his work, organized, clear thinking. He came home and asked to come here. I told him I did not know. He was agitated and swore it would not be ackward. I told him the only way I would go on the week long research trip to another university with him is if he came here for a day and we saw how things went. I got my hopes up, but then found out the little girl was with him at his mother's house. He then changed the day to come here. I was not happy but did not argue. He sent me an email saying he had to change the day because of "obligations" and said he knew it was only two days before our research trip then suggested he would stay here a couple days after the trip. I did not answer that part. Then he showed up on the day with a large suitcase! WTF? He stayed and we had one fight in which he was just nuts, threatening to leave etc-all the usual MLC BS. I ignored as much as possible. He puched walls etc but stayed. We went on the research trip and he was fine for a bit, but then nuts. I caught him messaging the little girl so I woke up early (we were sharing a dorm room) and began messagine and giggling a male. He was furious, went to another room to sleep. Later he seemed fine so I went to workout with him. He is falling apart physically-aches and pains everywhere. Tried to blow out his knee that was so swollen he could hardly lift it, and said if he could not walk, "it is all over since I won't live like that." I ignored his mood and kept working out. On the way back to the room, I jogged between two guys on the street who said some complimentary things to me and Cuckoo ran over to my side and glued himself to me. Then he said I would be better off without him to which I replied "I am a grown woman and will make my own choice." Then back at the room, I had lunch and he came up behind me and said, "Aren't I a joy to be around?" I told him his moods did not bother me as I was used to them. He went nuts and began throwing furniture and describing how much he hates and despises me. I was stunned for a minute but blew up eventually, told him I had another man and to get over it. I then told him I was tired of his created fantasy world and blew up the lies he had been telling the little girl. He told her he had led such an "unusual, exciting, and non'traditional life" What crap-mommy paid for his school, he never work, is twice divorced, and is a regimented man who eats at the same time, always the same food, and to bed by 11. What the hell is unusal about that? He ended up in the bathroom crying. He was so depressed. I walked away. He came out and said we are mortal enemies among other things. He left and so did I. Later we worked out together, and he began helping me with my research??? Again WTF??? So I pretended nothing happened. Then several good days. Then home where he acted the most normal I have seen him for months. But a few days later, I sensed he was restless. The next day he told me he was leaving. (While at the house, he would get up in the middle of the night and walk around the dark house talking to himself, spent a bunch of time talking about sex and masturbation, and acting like a teenager-singing songs with the lyrics changed to include our dogs etc. even came in the bedroom and had breakfast in bed with me twice, but no sexual contact-just kept talking about the dogs and me, in an odd way, like saying our one dog was mad at me for x,y, or z-always something like not being kind or loving to the dog etc, then said things like the dogs loved him, he was their hero etc, and he lost everything, passprt, phone charger, key to the room, stole blankets from there, obsessively carried his phone everywhere but never on it when I could catch him, paid huge amounts of attention to what I was doing on the computer, who called me etc, caught him staring at my bust several times, just acting like a teenager, even our suitemate who has known him for 20 years commented on how crazy he was acting). When he was getting ready to leave here, he was almost manic but I could see earlier tears in his eyes, in fact tears were there several times throughout the visit. I did not cry in front of him ever. In fact when he was packing, I began whistling, singing and dancing. He was so puzzled when I did not beg him to stay and acted as though I did not care one way or another. He discussed that there was powder on the butt of my yoga pants, and asked why I was wearing them. I told him I liked wearing them since I did not have to wear underware with them-hahaha then he asked about belly dancing-I took a class in that while he was abroad. He then waundered off into the bathroom for a few minutes. He said he had to go, but then the dogs wanted a walk so he suggested we take them for a short walk, but them suggested they go wading in the river, then home. OK, so he gets ready to go, and walks to the car with no hug or affection, I then say I hope you enjoyed the visit. He says, "I did for the most part," to which I replied, I did also for the most part. He stared at me for a minute then got in his car and I went back inside, no waving like we usually did before the split. He wants to go to the art museum in the city as well as to spend some time here before he goes back to teaching. I said, I suppose that is ok, but he will have to call me when he wants to do those things. Today I did not hear from him, but know he was on FB and talked to the little girl. I hid from him because I was just too worn out to talk. So here we are to date.
Questions: 1. Is he entering the depression stage #4 of the 6? 2. No more talk of our "fundamental differences" since I told him I agreed that we had one major fundamental difference-I faced the problems and turned to him when he had the affair years ago, while he turned away from me and curled up into a weak little ball instead of coming to me with the problems and working on them this time. Just seemed to think about everything I was saying. Did it sink in? Recently he has been quoting things I said to him as though he said the things-is this normal? He also uses alot of profanity when speaking to her and stupid juvenile phrases like "cool man" or calling her "hippie chick-you rock" But then he makes nasty comments about the guy who calls me babe, wishes he would die in Afghanistan or whereever he deploys to, and made some comment about how the guy and I would be together but for the deployment so I was not really choosing him over that guy. 3. He seems to be using the little girl as a bandaid-all their messages begin and end with what I am doing or saying, how I don't know what I want, how if I still loved him I would want him back, how angry she is at me for hurting him, and how she thinks he is man enough for her and she has sex dreams about him. From the tone of the messages, he is getting tired of her in some ways, the messages are getting shorter, but he still talks with her on the tele and I don't know what they say. He turns to her when he is mad at me, when he gets upset when I talk about moving away, when he reads a FB post from another man about me, when he hears or sees me flirting with another man etc. He seems scared to be alone. Talk about affairing down. THis girl has turned herself inside out to be what he wants, and still he spends his time on the computer with me. She is also a depressive and encourages him to say things like he is a misanthrope and hates 99% of humanity etc. I think he is using her and am not threatened by her at all. Now she is copying my likes from FB and the activities I do since he is telling her those. She even says she does not know if she can "bear to leave him to go to graduate school". What puke inducing crap he never would have put up with from me. What is your opinion of that relationship and the chances of it for the future? 4. He seems to be able to switch from adult with me to other person on a dime, but is usually adult with me since I freaked him out for awhile playing along with his craziness. For example when he called himself Thor, I said I was Freija-female goddess of sex etc. But with his students/little girl he continues that crap. He does not know I know about the arcade activities and such he participated in abroad, but when I said I did those same activities he made fun of the childishness of those activities. What is with that? He also posts snippets of songs from new groups that he used to hate, refuses to w.ear his glasses much of the time, talks about his "old face and gray hair", talks of how he and I are getting old, never compliments me-just stares at my new figure-lost 25 lbs and work out regularly now-still an E cup though, 5'6" 135lbs, muscular. He also tells me he is not sad about leaving the country he was in with the little girl, that it had "run its course" whatever the heck that means, but then he was with her for a few days at his mom's although I do not think he planned that-she did, and sent her messages while we were together at the university doing research. But he did not call her or text her from the house as I requested. He did not even tell her or his mother that he was here, just lied to both and disappeared. 5. Still says he does not know how he feels about me. Seems scared I will hurt him again-even though he hurt me as well, and I never called him such vile and vulgar names etc. What is with the tears in his eyes but then the manic mood when he was leaving? Is this depression or MLC stuff or fear or a combination? Or is he just keeping me as a security fall back person? 6. I now seem to have morphed into the other woman-but no sexual contact? What is with that? 7. Is there something else I should do now? Yes, I love him and want to work things out with him. Yes, I have made significant changes, including not answering him when he gets nasty-except when he started throwing furniture-done alot of DBing, speak softly at all times, tons of GALing, tons of progress with work including publications and progress on my doctorate in ps, as well as a seperate masters in law, joined a bunch of fitness classes, sporting events, stopped eating poorly, learning the foreign language he speaks and uses for research, tons of reading, home improvements, teaching yoga, etc. 8. He never took off the necklace I gave him years ago but I took off the necklace, bracelet, and engagement ring. I put those back on when he was home, sans the ring, but now wonder if I made a mistake doing that? He had said to me, why should he wear the necklace if I was not wearing his. Made sense, but why is that important to him if he does not know how he feels about me? He rubs and adjusts the necklace constantly, not seeming to even realize he is doing that much of the time. He says the necklace reminds him of good times. 9. He is horribly forgetful, about to get into trouble at work if he cannot write this book, bought a huge very expensive house in a small town that will eat up much of his money but says he is not staying there longer than another year, but has not taken my name off the credit card we shared or the bank accounts, or changed his address or taken any of his possessions from the house. What is with that? 10. Should I keep doing things for him like buying the tickets for his trip, paying his car insurance, paying his credit card bill, making appointments he asks me to make for him or should I as I did with the car insurance, tell him calmly and quietly that if he is not going to be around here, he will have to get his own? 11. Today the cuckoo is back to posting messages about how much he loves our dogs, how beautiful their souls are, how people should just kiss his "black and tan ass" etc and other prof's are commenting on this in negative ways. Is he nuts? What does this behavior mean? Is is a sign of him wanting to stay in Replay? Any advice or comments would be most appreciated. Thank you for your time!
Quick answer to your first question, it sounds like your H is quite deep in depression. Like... pit of hell kinda deep... and sounds like it's been from the start. Otherwise, he sounds like he's still in replay.
Before getting too much into anything, have your read Divorce Remedy? Really a good idea as that is the basis for how we approach M breakdowns.
Cadet should be along with his list of reading material, although it sounds like you've done your share of research.
I think your H, or at least your description of his behaviours, the "start", etc, is a really good example of MLC.
You do not talk about how things were between the two of you prior to his drastic changes except to mention he cheated on you, once before. So I would assume that for the most part, he was a "good guy" who you loved and presumed about as normal as people get...
and then he "snapped"... and people really don't just "snap"...
Now I do want to point out right now, and like I said, read DR, is that your own behaviours and language are likely not helping the sitch much. No, we can not fix them... we CAN make things worse, though. We can actually induce a stall in stage if we are confrontational and engage in the types of blow outs you've described the two of you have had...
So, you really do need to step back and take some really deep breaths...
More will come along to support you in your sitch. Post frequently (ie. a couple times a day) and it will help get you off moderation.
And a word of advice about this forum. Try to use more formal structure and keep the post entries shorter. It helps others read the content and support you better on item by item stuff.
Thank you, I am sure you are correct that my behaviors are making the situation worse, but I have been trying hard these last 6 weeks to make things better, with only the couple fights really bad where I lost my temper. But that said, I take responsibility for being stupid enough to have lost my temper those times. It is just that I mourn so deeply for the man that was and now I have the monster that just keeps randomly jumping out at me with both hands swinging. For example, one day he sent me a series of messages that simply said, "F**k You C**t" 57 times repeatedly. Boy did that shock me, followed by an explanation of why he was a man and the other guy was a pansy. Good morning to you too cuckoo! As to before the cuckoo behavior, we were so close, so in tune with each other. Once when he wakened in the middle of the night sick in another country, I wakened at the same time in the US with a terrible pain in my stomach. I called him 5 minutes later only to find he was in the bathroom sick. We shared everything, a good sex life for the most part, an interest in the same areas of study and research, valued education, love travel, came from tough family situations, both had prior bad marriages, both same core political values, enjoyed the same sporting and leisuretime activities, both love dogs and wanted those instead of kids. We wrote books together, and did publishing together, always reading the other person's work before submittall. He was always jealous but then so was I. We were so focused on each other always that we had few outside friends truthfully. He is very much an introvert while I was always more of an extrovert. When we met I was still in school while he was teaching, but he helped me to become a better scholar, learn focus and dedication, and achieve my dreams. I gave up so much to be with him, moving around the country with him while he went from one one year job to the next before he found a tenure track job, but I thought it was an investment in our future together, what an idiot I was. So if that is normal, then yes, he was a normal guy.
As to pit of hell depression, I am sure you are right, and for that I bear much responsibility which is one of the reasons this whole situation is killing me. You see, I take responsibility and beat myself up daily for the relationship with the little girl. I can tie each phase of our nuclear wars with songs he posted such as Nowhereman and Skin and Bones, to calls and messages to her after the wars. She validated his pain, told him that he is wonderful, manly, her knight in shining armor, how he did not deserve the pain, how I was crazy, how I had turned against him, how I was purposely trying to hurt him, how she needed him so much, how hurt she was for him, how bad things always happen to her and how he makes her smile and feel safe, how I deserved to die or at the least she would kick my A** for him-hahaha not at all likely or possible. And so uncharacteristically he lapped up that nonsense when before he never would have fallen for that. We used to laugh at such antics from the students in both our cases. Now he seems to get agitated after a few days of not speaking with her, and his depression is much worse then until he speaks with her and gets almost manic but still there is an underlying depression and negativity including comments about how he is a misanthrope and hates nearly everyone. Those are worse after he talks with her. I would love to strangle her for feeding his fantasies and depression as well, but then I would also have to strangle myself for setting a fire under the depression and magnifying the depression ten fold at least.
I have been reading much about the impact of childhood experiences on the MLCer. His family is nuts-mother and father split up and got back together several times in his teens. Mother laid behind his father's car to keep father from leaving, threw plates at father, constant swearing, but then passionate make up's minutes later- the result 6 children. Father now gone to be with another woman-same one he had the affairs with all those years ago, while mother is stuck in depression-keeping his clothes still 25+ years later, no dating, no working, just waiting for him to come home. I wonder if he superimposes our relationship on that one and expected me to behave the same way? He has never said that, but his family has come up in discussions while he is in depressive funks away from the little girl. He was very interested in how my family settles problems and how my parents interact one day a week ago. My parents are an old European peasant family, love to bicker and tease each other, but would never think of calling names or divorce. (Out of 57 grandchildren I am the only one to be divorced.) For example, my mother and dad were bickering one day, and my dad said something about kiss my A** and my mother went over and kissed him on the cheek and said there you go honey. Then the two laughed for about 20 minutes and cuddled. Cuckoo swears he heard my father say F you to my mother, but both deny it, and I have never heard my father use such language ever and my mother would drop a house on him if he did that. I can't figure that delusion out at all but just walked away from that one, changing the subject.
A few words of background on him and I. I was married to a physically abusive drunk and drug addict when we met. Exhusband would beat me physically and Cuckoo figured that out quickly. He was supportive and helped me during the divorce. Now the truth of the matter is that I am no shrinking violet and defended myself during those attacks. But Cuckoo is now raising the issue of how I was beaten and put up with it. The reality is that when Ex beat me, I fought back like a lion, even sending him to the hospital once after he threw me out of bed and beat my head on the bedroom wall for several minutes. When I got away I chased the man down the street with a real 2x4, and he never beat me again. But now cuckoo is swinging his hands in punching motions centimeters from my face when he gets mad talking of beating me etc. I am afraid that causes a flashback to my Ex and I just lose control eventually. This last time he did that, I held control of my temper for 7 minutes before I lost it when he threw a chair at me. Otherwise I just stood there looking at him, not answering, hoping he would wear himself out, but that just made him madder. Normally, he would never hit me, but I think he might be working up to that in his tirades. We can never outrun our pasts it seems.
Details: He is twice divorced. I am once divorced. He says he is provoked to the violence, yelling, name calling, that when he is not with me he is a very happy calm person with no visible signs of temper problems. (Pure BS about the temper as others have noted to me including his mother and sisters). I am quick to forget what made me angry and my anger lasts seconds. He can remember things from 10 years ago that angered him while I cannot remember what started the fight two weeks ago until I look at email or IM's he sent. I tell him I am not mad at him, but he consistently says I am just fooling myself, and that I really am mad at him, and will never forget him. Frankly that is not the truth, I believe he is sick and cannot help this behavior really so I am not mad/I just want him to get some help.
Interesting that every time I say I don't care about x as related to him, or indicate that I differ in opinion about something, or if I dispute his analysis or refer to something as BS he goes nuts now, while we used to have such interesting conversations and debates about things-and in the end we would find out that much of what we debated was the same point just phrased differently. Then we would laugh and cuddle. Boy I miss those conversations.
I am very worried he is about to lose his job. He has so many students on FB and he is saying such inappropriate things. One comment concerned some of the boys being gay and it is their loss that he "does not swing that way." WTF?? Another yesterday was telling the world in general that "Everybody needs to kiss my black-and-tan ass!!!! Hahaha." A reference to the markings on our dogs. None of the adults we regularly correspond with comment anymore, (only the kids do) but yesterday a senior scholar responded with "YOU might need all of us to kiss your black-and-tan ass, but somehow I don't actually feel that same need." Cuckoo responded with "You do, but I understand your reticence to admit it." Then the scholar called me to complain about Cuckoo and ask what the problem is with him. What a joy that was to try to explain and defend/protect Cuckoo from blowing up his own life and career, and mine along with him since we are tied together professionally as well as personally. All I can see is the desperateness and pain in the quotes, and see him throwing everything we worked so hard for down the toilet. So I cry in private, and spend time doing damge control for my sake as well as for his. Academia is a small mean world in which everyone knows everyone else's business.
Ok, so I have already exceeded my two posts a day recommendation from you Kaffe Diem. Sorry, and I am working on the really deep breaths too. I am trying to keep them short, but this crap is just pouring off my chestwithin the last 24 hours. I am so weighted down after spending all those days with him and just do not know where to turn next to vent this stuff so I do not blow up on him the next time he goes crazy on me. I want to get rid of this stuff though before he comes back here again in less than 2 weeks. It is as though his depression is contagious to me. I can feel his pain and it hurts me terribly as well. I would take all that pain from him though if he would just get some help. That is why I took all the ange, spewing, threats and name calling for those weeks as best I could so he would get it off his chest. It does seem to have helped as we have not had a nuclear war with hours of fighting since then believe it or not.
In the last few weeks I have walked around with what he calls a "silly zen-like yoga new age smile" that seems to shock him and at times make him crazy.
But it is my mouth that is the problem. And much of it is coincidental. For example, I have a friend from the gym who is dating a man 16 years older than her. We were talking about her situation and basically how she is using him and enjoying it because he is so stupid. (Not a nice girl I know, but I do enjoy working out with her as she is a professional body builder.) Cuckoo eavesdrops and overhears the conversation and there were many similarities to his situation with the little girl apparently. For example, friend was saying how she told man he was the best lover she ever had, how he was the biggest built in the sex field, how he saved her from a meaningless life, how she loved cooking for him, how much she respected him, how she fooled him at first by paying for everything herself so he would trust her, and how now she gets everything she wants from him now since he is such a whipped pup, so I should try that now that I am free from the Cuckoo. The only thing I responded was to decline her off, laugh, and say that she is immoral and predatory, but if he is that stupid I guess they are both getting something from the relationship. Honestly, I had no idea Cuckoo was hiding behind the door at this time, but when we got in the car, he had a funny strange frozen look on his face, almost like he was going to cry. He remained silent most of the way home and was in a funk for over an hour after that. He never brought it up though and I only know he heard since the gym owner told me he was standing near Cuckoo, also overheard the conversation, and could not get Cuckoo to come out from behind the door. I waited for Cuckoo to say something so I could smooth things over and explain but he never raised the issue. I feel just horrible about that and have not spoken to her since but still I know it hit a bit too close to home for him perhaps and might have really hurt him. I just don't know. But then again, when stuff like that happens, he seems to deflect it as being not related to his circumstance.
Ok, last post I promise! Sorry to be so full of joy and comments this morning. Normally I am a very private person who has not shared much of this with anyone. Why is it that I seem have the potential to p*ss him off no matter what I do or say? He even commented that I am the only person in the world who makes him mad like that. He claims to otherwise be a very happy and even tempered person. (Actually that is not true, but it is how he sees things.)
After reading here, I have tried several different responses to his baiting. For example, I tried just saying “Ok it’s your choice” but that sends him into orbit. When he got a new phone and refused to give me the number, I said “Ok it’s your choice” and went about doing what I was doing before that came up. He screamed for 10 minutes about how he knew it was his choice and he was exercising that choice. I just said “Great.” Funny thing is the next morning he called and left his new number. But now when I say that line to other things he responds with things such as “of course it is my choice, and I will do what I want. What the h*ll is the matter with you? I know it is my choice. You are crazy and need some mental help.” I ignore that stupidity and do not respond.
About that time he floored me by saying, “If you really loved me, you would want me back.” What??? I am the one who had been trying but almost gave up. I think he sensed that I was moving on with my life and perhaps was angry. Who knows?
Then I tried, “I am sorry that you feel that way.” He responded with “it’s your fault I feel this way”, “you are baiting me”, “you are provoking me”, “you are attacking me”, “you have turned against me”. Now it is just dead silence when I say that, and he rolls his eyes. Although to be fair, at times he admits it is him and seems confused and sad, more so lately and much more so when he does not have the chance to talk to the little girl to borrow courage from her.
Lastly, when he goes nuts on me on the phone, I tried, “Call me back when you can talk to me like I am a person,” and hung up on him. That went on five times before his phone went dead so he could not call. Then he messaged me on FB saying “I HATE when you say that!!!!!” “Stop it right now or I will never talk to you again and I will un-friend you” I just wanted some peace and for it to all end so I replied, “So what.” And he un-friended me for a minute and a half after which he sent a series of 5 threatening messages to a guy he thought I was sleeping with, and then blocked him. Then he friended me again, and sent me a message telling me “See what I will do to you if you do not follow the rules.” I just started laughing at that point. I refused to respond and the next day he acted as though it had never happened. WTF was that? FB is so childish as is he. I felt as though I were back in high school again.
