The bottom line is that you will not be able to reconcile your M until your WAS's feelings for OP have been resolved. You have no control over this part. You cannot expedite it or force it.
This is my opinion as well. I'll note below.
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Starsky did it in 2 months, I did it in 18 months.
I personally think that Starsky is an over achiever...
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My take on what occurred for Starsky, and with no disrespect at all to how he handled his sitch and his belief that this really does work. It did work for him.
What I still say is VERY important is, two months into Starsky DBing... I believe that his W MADE THE CHOICE to R with Starsky. Which may just as likely had nothing to do with what Starsky did and truly was just the moment when his W did her own introspection and decided she would rather be with him and try to work things out.
I do believe that as we DB and better ourselves, it is core to building a potentially better M as well, if the M is saved.
It's just that, while they may be REASONS for the WAS to change their mind and come back and drop the OM... They make that choice...
Otherwise... the WAS/AP will continue to waiver... as Starsky has conceded in the past that piecing was long for him...
His W made the choice to step back in... but she still wavered...
Starsky... and Denver and any others who have R...
If you asked your spouse, why did they choose to R? What would their responses be? Would they say it was because of something specific you did, that could relate to a specific DB method? Or would they say it was because they changed their mind or decided it was what they wanted?
