Interpretation of MWD and DR regarding infidelity

[zig]

oh star sky! - why is it that when i ask you questions you always come back in battle mode?

i didn't feel bothered whatsoever - it was more that i want to find out what the different approaches mean and how they could be used.

did you read accuray's post? for me it cleared up quite a few things, if one sees it from that perspective.

i suppose another question would be - for someone who is in my position or busting's for that matter - are you really advocating that we should suddenly walk up to our spouses and say what you suggest we should?


and then just deal with the very possible outcome of them filing and pursuing the D wholeheartedly?


and yes - you are probably right - i, like most others here are still shaky about what approach to really really take. maybe your being so sure - so completely sure, makes me feel unsettled because i am not so sure at all what the best thing to do is.

maybe you are right - it's time to walk away, to go date, to not worry how it looks to anyone else, but how do you count into the equation that i am not ready to do that? do i do those things acting as if and hope that i'll become that?

i think your question deserves alot of thought . here is a 180 i can do for myself - become more sure of where i am at and what i want and how to go about it.

but as accuray and many others point out, it's a process for many of us - and it must have been for you also - but you went through it alot faster than most people do. maybe you were in a really good healthy emotional place. maybe you didn't have so many things to work on for yourself. but many many of us here have had huge personal issues that contributed majorly towards the demise of our R's, and those take time to work through and resolve, not to mention the time it takes for the was to reacognize those very same and do the same for themselves

so instead of shooting only questions back at me, how about answering my genuine concerns and then asking more questions that can help me to inspect both myself and my options?

i do value your advice, but when you arbitrarily throw it out here making it sound like it is the only way to go, then please expect people to ask more about it

i genuinely want to hear your responses to my questions - they are not rhetoric at all

zig