so if one isn't ready - what are the alternatives, if they were to be put clearly and concisely for most to follow here
From where I stand, the whole DR book is laid out as a "step 1, 2, 3..." which is IMHO the reason why, things like LRT, AtLRT, Ultimatum, etc... are all late in the book...
That the premise is first to stabalize ourselves, then to assess the sitch, consider our own responsibility for the sitch and fix that and work on ourselves... and THEN... try to attract the WAS back BECAUSE we are great people... and EVEN IN LIGHT OF AN A, we can R in a loving, non-aggressive... and then perhaps somewhat assertive way... etc, etc... leading up to Ultimatum and possibly the LBS filing D... if the WAS hasn't done so, first...
That's just the way it looks, to me...
I do concede that we are all unique and will approach the same problem, some the same ways, other in their own unique ways, to solve a problem we are all here to solve... that MWD wishes to help us solve with solutions she's tested in the field, that have worked for others...
I don't know if I've ever seen MWD pronounce or quote as a success, a LBS who deamonized their spouse in order to get to a frame of mind that they were willing to use the use the AtLRT or Ultimatum or similar "high risk" methods...
IMHO, if the LBS is there... they are pretty much the same people I meet on the street who are D and bitter and angry at their spouses for quite some time... some for a lifetime... I think psychologically, that's a dangerous road for a LBS to travel...
Even as she does to an agree, concede that for some people... that approach works...
