Kimmerz, First of all I'm happy your comfortable being single and enjoying it. It is a difficult road and its looks like your traveling it well.
As for MLC, believe it that it is that crazy. I remember very little from my MLC but I do remember the day I hit bottom. My opinion is if an MLC'er does not hit bottom they will not get out of the tunnel. Its the opportunity for the MLC to make there way out.
After bottom it took about another 6 months of flatlining then the assent out. My internal life has only gotten better from that point.
Please don't try to understand what your H is going through in MLC. You can't and its not worth. Just pray for him that he gets out.
I am enjoying my singleness as well and its a pleasure reading your thread and how far youve come.
Mirage.
I know the mechanics of depression and transition very, very well. When I put those two together in what would be MLC... the overwhelming depth and breadth of what is going on in those walnuts is... well... overwhelming, without a doubt...
Kimmer, I hoped and hoped and hoped that my W wasn't MLC. I still deny it and the rational is because for me, it doesn't matter, the work is the same, in the moments they can and still are responsible for their actions, yadda, yadda, yadda...
But I had and idea... and as I read, I understood more and more... how MLC from the LBS perspective... is in many ways, hopeless.
We can't do anything to fix the problem. We... are not the actual problem, our M breakdown is simply a symptom of the MLC. And it takes time... a long time... and there's no guarantee the person who comes out the other side will be the personality) that left us.
And I am loathe to say that, because I do believe that if and as a LBS can persevere through the MLCers away mission... there still is a human being in there who can possibly be loved by us and love us, etc...
When people transition, they become... "different"... They can be MOSTLY the same... SOMEWHAT the same... or NOT AT ALL the same... as it is... with MLC...
And waiting to see if there IS someone that we could spend the rest of our life with that comes out the others side... IF they come out the other side... well...
So having said that, the idea here and on a couple other MLC "sympathetic" sites is... be patient... hold on as long as you can (DETACHED)... and then hold on a little more... and some more... until you just can't any more... no one would blame you, who understands... for holding on NOR for letting go... that's all up to you...
We don't want to scare people away who suspect their spouses are MLC. Because that overwhelming aspect of it can just seem... too much...
But if we believe in M... and family... and... then it IS worth it to at least try...
And in the mean time... learn about ourselves, grow, become great people, learn how to support someone who... well, that others would otherwise dump to the curb...
