Interpretation of MWD and DR regarding infidelity

[bustingout]

Denver ( and others like LITB) it seems you got to a point where you were so done it didn't matter the outcome of the words or actions you gave to your W. You were ready to take the next step and go with it whichever way it turned out.

I think the problem for me, and maybe some others ( I don't know), is getting to that point. It's an in-between stage where we ( I) want to get to this point, but really are not yet there...even if our actions our showing it, our hearts are not.

And that seems to be a key point with many of you that have saved yourselves,
and your families.

To be completely honest, I hesitate to be able to say something so definitive to H. He is already with another woman...

I have only started DB in mid May, and while I have learned so much and continue to do so, and am a full supporter of the programme and philosophies, I think that how the affair is handled while the WAS is in it and ' happy' is probably much different than if the WAS is ready to R again and feels remorse or at least the desire to try and save the M.

Right now my H is in the affair and ' happy' and determined that this is the best course of action. Regardless of our kids, our history, etc.

So I have been dark, NC... ( except with regards to the kids if necessary). He knows I don't want to end our M.

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to ask/ say is that it seems like their are different times during an affair at which we do can do certain actions...?