Wow so it appears that within each stage the MLCer is in, they can cycle in and out of all the stages?
Im sorry...But SERIOUSLY???? Just when you realize how complicated MLC is, it gets worse.
Well like Kaffe said I didn't get the memo that I was the crazy one! LOL...
Ok but seriously this explains EVERYTHING now. Wow, amazing how they can be in one stage but cycle through the rest of them over and over again. No wonder we go completely batty!
Like KML I've really wondered if all the "good part" that everyone see's, even myself was his hypomanic phases. However it's been the last 7 years that these moods have just been swinging like mad.
6 years prior he was great! If he ever seemed a little quiet, he was usually just wanting my attention because we didn't get a chance to see eachother. We'd get some time together and everything was ok. He ACCEPTED my love and attention and reciprocated it. Lord it almost brings tears to my eyes how happy we really were at one time. When I talk about all the really hard times and how nasty he's been, it's been in the last 7 years it's been the worse.
Has anyone read any of Jim Conway's books? Can anyone recommend any book in particular of his that's a good one to start off with?
I read Jed Diamons'd The Irritable Male Syndrome, and that really opened up my eyes about alot of things and has helped me alot. It also really helped to hear that he suffered from andropause and how it really wreaked havoc in his marriage.
I guess I wish I could really grasp this anger phase. How these once nice people turn into self absorbed crooked liars! It makes me think, was our marriage an entire lie? I can't believe the irrational thoughts and actions of these MLCers, I still can't. I think alot of 18 year olds are more mature!
I don't think my XH will ever come out of Replay. As long as he's got his playmate he will stay wherever its comfortable.
Honestly, given it's been such a hard year, I've actually taken note how much I've grown in the last year, when I thought I was shrivelling! My old life with XH, has no appeal anymore. Sure I miss the family BBq's with BIL and SIL, but something dawned on me. BIL and SIL always overstayed their welcome and it was very hard for me to get along with them sometimes. XH is still doing his same thing, with his family, bit with OW. Listening to the same music, eating the same food, playng the same computer games. No adventure, nothing extra curricular, just staying on that hamsterwheel, except for this insurmountable spew whenever the mood strikes him.
For me, I've made good friends through work and am enjoying my new friendships. I've become comfortable being single and am really enjoying it. I no longer feel the need to be in a relationship in order to feel fullfilled in my life or completed in some sort of way. The girls and I have established a closer bond and enjoy eachother's company and have a good time. We no longer walk on egg shells. Im working on getting into college next year and have chosen a new career path. Work is going well for me, though it is very stressful at times. Im appreciated and valued at work. I've accepted my co dependency issues, and continue to deal with them each day. I've made it a goal to catch myself acting in co dependent ways. It's a very liberating experience to recognize these traits in yourself and know you have the power to make changes and control these issues to make a more fullfilling life for yourself.
