New attitude, new thread

[SunFunOne]

I suck at them so I refuse to go. I have 3 timeshares although mine are Disney Vacation Club and I approached them - not the other way around.

Barb

[ClingingToHope]

It was a really good pitch. This company had resorts in every place I plan on going in the next three years. I would have signed up if I could have afforded it. They kept lowering, lowering, lowering the down payment until it was down to a level I could afford -- but then I wouldn't be able to use the resorts in the peak or summer months. What's the point then?

So I let it slide and got my gift -- a three day, two night stay in the Wisconsin Dells. We go every winter and this will save me $400 or so.

So that's how the day started. It was D9's, now D10's birthday, and I had a lot of time to think on the drive down and back because my radio isn't working in my car.

The day D10 was born was pretty cool. It was a Monday and XW was being induced. She said I could go to my Monday morning softball game. I went 4-for-4 and we beat our big rival in the league.

I showered and went to the hospital. Things were fine at first, but then the epidural wasn't working and XW was in a lot of pain. The doctors didn't want to give her a second one, but I insisted because the look on her face told me she wasn't ready for that much pain.

Things went well after that except that D10 pooped on the way out. The doctors were worried it got into her lungs so she had to go to the pediatric ICU for a couple of hours. I went down and stayed with D10 to make sure they did not feed her. With D13, they fed her overnight and she never took to breastfeeding.

Finally, D10 was given the OK and she was taken back to the hotel room where XW's mother got a picture of D10, XW and I.

When the marriage crumbled and we split up, D10 would ask me to tell her that story again and again and again.

D10 was with XW this weekend. She was supposed to go to her grandmother's campground. She didn't want to go because no friends could go with her. Instead, they went to a small local zoo and she had a good time. She came over to my house at 6 p.m. to get her present from me and hang out for a couple of hours.

She hesitated about a couple things in her zoo story, which told me the BF went with. XW made a point when she dropped her off to say D10 spent the weekend with just her.

XW has been telling the girls to lie about the BF. I told the girls there's no need to lie. I know what's going on. Still, they get caught in the middle.

XW picked D10 up at 8:30 p.m. And I just laid down to watch TV for a few hours. I'm in a lull where I'm not crazy busy and the motivation has just drained from me. I'm not even really working out and I'm feeling a little flabby. Dating opportunities are drying up again, but then again it's not going to matter when the grad school classes at the end of August.

Another week.

[ClingingToHope]

Got a call from XW at work. Picked it up when I've usually let it go to voicemail.

Mostly scheduling stuff. Some small things about the girls. She kept going on and on and I responded when an answer was needed.

She brought up the fact again that she is leaving early Friday for her trip. It was as if she wanted me to respond.

I closed my eyes for much of the conversation and told myself I now just have one goal in life -- conquer anger and fear. Everything else will take care of itself.

Then went for a walk.

[mishka422]

WTG!

[ClingingToHope]

Busy, busy, busy. Need to scrape up people for a swimming party for D10 Saturday. Zip lining on Sunday. Baseball game with D13 on Monday.

[ClingingToHope]

Sad conversation with D10 this morning. Driving her to daycare for the day. She brings up the house her mom lives in and talks about how much she'll miss it when they move.

I told her I thought the house was off the market. She said they'll have to sell it some day. Hopefully someone will buy it or they'll have to tear it down.

That's probably true. XW didn't sue the former roofer for screwing up our flat roof. There's significant water damage in the basement now. The house is very close to being too far gone.

So I started telling her about all the houses I've lived in, to try to show her that usually people have several houses.

She said she's had two houses, but she doesn't know which house to call home -- mommy's or daddy's. Deep down, I was very happy she considers my house a home. I told her it's OK if she considers mom's house her home. After all, I carried both her and her sister through the front door after they were born.

She says to me, "You miss that house don't you?"

I told her I miss being able to put her to sleep every night.

She replies, "I wish I was four when we were all together."

Then it was time to go into daycare and all I could say is "Me too, but we just have to make the most of today. We're going to have a great weekend."

Sigh.

[ClingingToHope]

Weekend going extremely well. Had birthday party for D10 yesterday. Seven kids over, including the one boy that D10 is hopelessly infatuated with.

He's a nice kid. D10 gave him a hug when he left and it was so very cute.

Today, we went zip lining and it was OK. The girls liked it. I guess I expected more for the money.

One bump in the road tonight with D10 and the TV. Got through it.

Tomorrow night I am taking D13 to her first major league baseball game. Going to Milwaukee to see the Brewers play my mighty, mighty, mighty Cincinnati Reds. I have two Reds jerseys and everything.

Next week is the Canada trip and I have several things to get done. Right now I'm downloading music for the trip.

Not much to complain about today. Thoughts of XW on the trip intrude occasionally. I have another message buddy though on OKCupid. We have opposite kid weekends though so nothing is likely to come from it. I just want a date. One date to get going again.

Hey, I saw a post on FB from my ex girlfriend -- the 41-year-old from DateHookup.com who just had too much drama going on.

Looks like she has another boyfriend. She posted a bunch of pics from some beach with a guy and her son. Hey, good for her. I was never going to get to that level with her.

Then I unfriended her.

[ClingingToHope]

Awesome trip to the baseball game Monday night. Had club level seats. Tickets to club level restaurant. So we watched a couple of innings next to the window in left field.

I had fun catching up with my old boss. Twice, he's tried to get me to move into his company. I can't leave the girls.

In the 8th inning, a foul ball was hit right to me. I caught it and handed it to D13. Her first major league game and we get a ball. I've been to a couple hundred and it's my third ball.

After, she said the night was fun because she said my eyes "lit up as soon as we got" to the ballpark.

She was going to be a Cubs fan because that's what her mom is. XW is a Cubs fan because of her dad, who died long ago.

I told her she might as well become a Reds fan -- my team -- because I doubt her mom will ever take her to a game. By the end of the night, she said she was a Reds fan and my plan now is to take her to Cincinnati next year for opening day.

D10 stayed the night at her friend's house and had a great time. I picked her up this morning, gathered up some of their stuff and dropped them off at XW's. Their grandmother was to pick them up and take them to the campground. They are stuck with her while their mom is in Sturgis parading around in leather with her tubby biker boyfriend.

D13's feelings about the guy are leaking out more and more. I don't have to worry about her adopting the backwoods Bubba lifestyle. D13 and her mom are going to have issues if the boyfriend relationship advances to an M or a live-in thing.

Anyway, D10 was excited to be going to the campground. D13 was dreading it. She's tired of being dumped on her grandmother all the time by XW. Both D10 and D13 said they are going to try to get the grandma to bring them back Saturday so they can come and stay with me. We're leaving Sunday for Canada and the wrap up trip of this summer.

More messages back and forth from a lady on OKCupid. We have opposite kid weekends so I can't see anything come of it. But we've continued to message each other -- because I'm sure it's just nice to have someone show interest.

She asked if I had anything fun planned this weekend. She has her son so I'm not sure if she's hinting around at anything. I responded I didn't have anything planned Friday or Saturday night.

Perhaps she'll propose something. I just want to go out on a date again. I haven't been on a date since January.

Part of that is that I'm just not aggressive enough. I was over at the county building getting some records for work and talked to a couple eligible -- at least no rings -- women. In my head, I was thinking I should try to do something to strike up a conversation. But nothing came to mind and I let it go. They both work there so maybe there'll be an opportunity in the future -- or maybe not.

[whatisis]

I remember just after Voldy and I separated, I took my family to Dancing With The Stars when they were touring and in Toronto. At intermission daughter turned to me and said "Daddy, I'm loving every minute of this, can we come every year" that brought tears to my eyes. I understand what it feels like to see your kids eyes light up, there's nothing like it! Glad you had a great day.

[ClingingToHope]

Lots of little things to get done by Sunday. Money flying out the window right now. Took car in for a radio issue. Asked to check the tires. Needed new tires, especially with long trip ahead of me.

Booked hotels. Just $80 for the one near Mall of America. Another $100 for the room in Minnesota near the Bear and Wolf sanctuaries.

Also, have to buy books for class. Another $200 gone.

In a way, it'll be nice to get to September and back into the school year routine. But one more great week ahead.