thinking on new life w/o X

[forward]

Sleeper,
Although I don't like X any more, I guess it's important to honor the fact that we did once love them--even though frankly at this point I remember X mostly for his criticism and complaining and that is the standout feature of the relationship in my mind. I have no physical attraction to him any more, either.

But... otherwise I will not feel that I have somehow learned and grown from this experience, so I have tried to remember some good times and why I loved him, because I did sincerely and I wanted very much to have things work.

I guess some of it is protecting ourselves: it's easier to think of it as a bad situation that didn't work and that was mostly their fault.