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Re: second time newcomer, back for more
ericmsant2 #2268850 08/07/12 06:48 PM
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badcompany Offline OP
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Always so much great advice I get.


You guys know where I'm coming from. You build a life with a person, you look forward to seeing them and just hearing them say 'I love you' ......there's great comfort in that.

We have so many memories together, vacations taken, children, laughs etc

I'm always pessimistic

M 31 W 26
M 6
S 6 S 3
Separated 6/2008
Back together 10/2008
All you need is love
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268851 08/07/12 06:50 PM
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ericmsant2 Offline
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Quote:
I'm always pessimistic

Something to add to the list of "chit I wanna change about myself"? Maybe? smile

"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268852 08/07/12 06:50 PM
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Her mother asked her how I was doing and my wife said 'fine. Too fine'

My wife must assume I am doing well ?

M 31 W 26
M 6
S 6 S 3
Separated 6/2008
Back together 10/2008
All you need is love
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268853 08/07/12 06:53 PM
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ericmsant2 Offline
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Quote:
My wife must assume I am doing well

I am not sure - I'm not your W. That said, why not ask her how she feels, then plant a nice big kiss on her and tell her your heading out...you wanted to go look into some new hobbies for YOURSELF.

"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
ericmsant2 #2268862 08/07/12 07:32 PM
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badcompany Offline OP
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What if she doesn't want a kiss ?

M 31 W 26
M 6
S 6 S 3
Separated 6/2008
Back together 10/2008
All you need is love
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268874 08/07/12 08:04 PM
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Also, she told her friend 'he hasn't tried to kiss me or tell me he loves me, not that I want him to'

M 31 W 26
M 6
S 6 S 3
Separated 6/2008
Back together 10/2008
All you need is love
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268875 08/07/12 08:05 PM
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The reason I haven't is because I knew she didn't want me, because she became distant over a week ago. I already knew to back off

M 31 W 26
M 6
S 6 S 3
Separated 6/2008
Back together 10/2008
All you need is love
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268895 08/07/12 09:16 PM
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ericmsant2 Offline
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Okay well if she doesn't want a kiss...bust her upside the head, tie her up and then give her one. JUST KIDDING>>>>>JUST KIDDING.

On a serious note, then try to be a little more subtle about it. Maybe just a caress on the cheek or a hug, a little pat on the butt. Something to create a little emotional connection.

Eric

"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
ericmsant2 #2268914 08/07/12 10:08 PM
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She said she wants to talk about things tonight

Any pointers ?

M 31 W 26
M 6
S 6 S 3
Separated 6/2008
Back together 10/2008
All you need is love
Re: second time newcomer, back for more
badcompany #2268918 08/07/12 10:20 PM
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Ask for nothing; COMMIT to nothing.

Just LISTEN.

YOu can always say "I'm not sure how I feel about that." or "Let's talk some more after I've had a chance to make some decisions," etc.

If she claims to want to fully come back to the marriage, I'd suggest saying "I'm not so sure how I feel about that anymore," and not jump at the first hoop she holds up for you.

If she says she wants a divorce, say "YOu're probably right. This isn't working for me, either. That would probably be best for both of us. Let's talk some more after I've had a chance to make some decisions."


Starsky

M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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