Thread #8 - It's time.

[Navyguy]

Last night was a fun one. W brought up our upcoming trip to Tennessee for her family reunion, and that she was surprised that I was going. I asked her if she wanted me to go. She said "I'm not going to tell you not to go". So that went back and forth for awhile and opened up a can of worms...and we started talking about our families...and our histories and all the "horrible" wrongs that have been committed over the years. W was attacking my mom pretty hard over something ridiculous, so I got up and walked inside and went to bed. Then W called my phone from out on the deck and tried to keep it going, but I stopped it pretty quickly. I am SOOO done with this negative crap!!!

W and I had counseling today. It was pretty rough. W got beat up for "dragging her feet" and I got beat up for "deciding things without talking to her".

I didn't go down the road of directly pointing this out...but I feel like I am being forced to make decisions because she's not doing anything proactively and gets upset/angry every time I try to talk to her about things.

I told C about how I had put together a budget and a list of our options with the pros and cons for each, and that I had asked W to provide her input, and she didn't. W got really upset and then pulled out the "Navy discouraged me from getting a job" card. C was sympathetic to her, but then told her to "put her big girl pants on" and put herself out there.

So basically, we both left C's office feeling pretty beat up.

And now I'm left here trying to decide if I want to go on this trip or not. W's family doesn't really know much about what is going on, but W's SIL knows a bit and was surprised to hear I was coming. I want to go and have a good time and enjoy myself and have a vacation (which I'm paying for) with the kids...but I'm sure there will be some awkwardness.

Not sure what to do...but I know I'm not going to ask W again if she wants me to go or not.