None of this works, unless and until the WAS CHOOSES to come back. Which kinda brings it back around to, why would the LBS WANT to come back to someone who is "collecting info" on them, . . .
Well, my strong intention would be that they never find out (not talking about the "full transparency" stage of piecing -- that needs to be mutually-agreed-upon and understood), and I would do everything within my ability to keep my efforts discreet.
And if they did find out, as mine did? I would -- and did -- say "I understand you're angry, but everything I'm doing, I'm doing to try to save our marriage, and protect this family."
