After that we were talking on the way to the car. She stopped when she got to her car and paused. Then she asked if I could tell that she dyed her hair. I said yes, it looks great. (I didn't really notice until she pointed it out. It's only a shade darker.) She said well no one else has even noticed.
After that she says oh I got to tell you about this... And then she told me about this that and the other for the next 20 minutes. Mostly funny stories, and stressful stuff about work. I actively listened.
She included in our conversation that she had to go back to work when she left. So I didn't ask her out to supper.
S and I are making homemade pizza together. (His favorite)
It was at her invitation. She wanted to go yesterday but I declined because I had a fishing trip planned. She said that it was fine and she would wait until today so we could all go together.
W and S came over about mid morning and we rode together to a nearby city to do our shopping.
Soon after getting in the car she pulls out her pill bottles and takes a xanex and half a zoloft.
I asked her if she was feeling better. She said she was. But that she needs to get a refill of the xanex soon. That her mood swings have leveled out. She wasn't sure if it was the zoloft or the xanex or the combo of the two.
I said I was glad she was feeling better and left it alone. I talked to my db coach recently and he said that I should only talk to her in a frienly manner about this subject. That it would be easy to talk down to her about it and that would make me lose all influence over the matter. Only if she asks my opinion should I speak out. And then in a tactful manner.
While out shopping she added a bottle of wine to the buggy. She said "this stuff is sooo good."
So that is the "bad" of the day. And not necessarily bad. Just out of character.
Also on our ride she said she wanted to drop me from her medical insurance plan. While this is perfectly acceptable,and something I have been checking into on my own, it reminded me that she is still intent on moving on.
We had a nice time I thought. I didn't feel awkward like I have. We carried on light chit chat. She asked if if we could go eat lunch at ____. It was our favorite restaurant as a couple on our date nites. It reminded me of many good times. Maybe it did her as well.
At one point while we were shopping she bent over to pick something off a low shelf. I reached out and carressed her bottom like I used to do. It was a fraction of a second and nothing vulgar I assure you. She looked back in a curious manner. I said I couldn't help it and gave her a wink. She smiled from ear to ear and went on about her business.
On our ride home I asked her if she would like to go out to eat next weekend. That I could find a sitter or we could make it a family nite. She thought about it for a few moments and said let's make it a family nite.
It will be on our anniversary (which I did not mention but I am sure she is aware). My db coach suggested that I ask her out and present these two options.
Oh, my fishing trip was great. Didn't catch much but had a good time.
This is a great book. Depending on your sitch, you might not be able to implement a lot of it right now, but the info will come in handy later.
I learned that my LL is acts of service and quality time, while H's are words of affirmation and gifts. So he was always bringing me little things I didn't need, but forgetting to empty the dishwasher like I asked.
And I'd take his car for an oil change before one of his road trips, but didn't spend a lot of time telling him how much I loved him.
So I realized that we were both showing love in the way that we wanted it and just didn't feel it because we weren't receiving what we wanted. The author says it's like speaking different languages. If I speak French, you can talk to me all day in Spanish, but I'm not going to understand anything.
Once you figure out her love language (and there's an online quiz you can do for that), you'll have a better idea of knowing what will make the most impact to her. And you'll understand what you need to feel loved also.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
W came by the house today to bring over S's karate uniform for his lesson tomorrow.
I asked her to come on in and eat supper with us. I was in the middle of cooking anyway. She said well it does smell good. I think I will.
We talked nonstop the whole time she was here. It was nice and effortless. Idk. Something just feels differnt. In a better sort of way.
She also feels a freedom here that I would not feel at her house. She kicks off her shoes and lays on the couch. Noses around the pantry and fridge for snacks and drinks. She just helps herself to whatever she feels like.
Now I don't mind that. Not at all. I want her to be comfortable here. It's just odd because I know that I would not feel relaxed enough to do those same things at her house.
Anyone else have the same experience?
She had asked about taking one of my pistols a while back before she moved. I said sure. I have taught her the safety aspects and we have been shooting many times together. She is a good shot and can rival my own skills with this particular weapon.
Well I made it a point not to be here when she moved out. Not to be spiteful, but to protect myself from having a breakdown moment in front of her. When she moved out she didn't take the gun with her.
Before leaving she asked about it again so I gave it to her. The gun, the case, and two mags full of ammo. She then asked if that was all the ammo I was going to give her. It took me back a little because... well 26 rounds should be more than plenty. I then told her that she could purchase more if need be.
In that fraction of a second it got my wheels turning that she might want shoot with OM. If there is one. That was my fear creeping in. I didn't let on. And put it out of my mind.
Anyway, when we discussed it the first time around, I told her that I wanted it back. When such a time came that she felt protected again. I didn't say more, but what I meant was when she was in a new R.
I have others that are of less sentimental value. I even offered to go gun shopping with her. But she feels most comfortable with this one. I am glad to, in a round about way, still provide protection.
Maybe I will see it again, maybe not.
She is a little bity thing, and I worry about her some. She travels alot. Lives in an apartment complex. Very vulnerable to the crazies. I think she is truly brave to embark on this journey on her on.
I feel better that she have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.
