Wow, that's a lot. These R talks always seem to end with you feeling worse.
"I asked him, so she's sleeping over?"
You knew the answer to that before you asked it. I do things like that too, then you get the answer you expected and it's like punishing yourself. We seem to have this in common, what is it about us that leads us to force our WAS into giving us bad news?
I know that improvement lies in not asking those questions, not driving by H's parents' house, and staying away from confrontations with H and OW, but I don't know how to get to the place where you stay away from those things -- but that is definitely the path forward for both of us. Just don't get into those discussions at all.
I do think that how you handled the discussion at the end was about as well as you could have, but you would have been so much better served by avoiding it altogether.
I feel so badly for you and for the kids -- H's decisions and behavior just make me angry. You are a good person and a great mother, keep focusing on you with all you've got.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
