thinking on new life w/o X

[sleeper]

[quote] ...when you came on here you saw something worth saving and so did I. [quote]

You are absolutely right, Forward but I guess I've crossed The Rubicon or something. Once again our timelines are very similar as I believe in some respects you crossed it before me.

Something clicked this past Spring with me. It may have been like a timer going off as it had been approximately 5 years since separation or it may have been my youngest leaving elementary driving home the fact the kids are getting older. The loss of family and concern for my kids was a major factor in attempting to save the marriage. I guess realizing they'd be grown soon (and the damage is done) what's the point? I also realized Im not getting any younger. Add to that the fact X and I are not the people we were 5 years ago. Our kids are the only thing we have left in common and they're growing up (at one time they were the focus of our lives).

X's recent actions have killed any connection I had left with her. We had done a very good job of co-parenting which fostered a kind of friendship between us. Many have commented to us asking how we did it and that they knew no couple who had gotten along so well after their D, working together as parents (we know one couple with two kids that communicate only through lawyers years after the divorce). That's over now. I realized the other day I don't view X as anything but an adversary now. Someone who has informed you they have tmed to a L (she's already sued me once) and wants to take my children away from me is not, nor can they be my friend. It may get ugly soon and I have nothing left to lose. She has ready sat the children down and discussed (and tried to manipulate) with them her reasons they should live with her. Therefore I can't protect the kids as I have in the past. There will be ugliness but they will learn how important they are to me. DS has already asked questions testing me to confirm I will not give him up to her without a fight.

Forward, your X hasn't remarried as mine has and your D is much younger. For all our similarities there are big differences.