Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[labug]

Yes, it's scary when you think you're losing something but you have no control of the outcome, only yourself. Let is slip away.

I know that sounds crazy but holding on only hurts you. For all intents and purposes the marriage you had is over. Let it go.

Work on building a new you and a new R with H, even if only as a respectful co-parent at this point.

When he goes away, will he have his cell phone and will you be able to contact him in that way? If so, I wouldn't ask him about his trip. He will most likely see that as control and interference.

If you don't know how to reach him then ask: In an emergency, how can I reach you while you're away?

it's really just frustration because I'm not getting what I want. When I realize it I'm able to stop and change the direction of my thoughts.

This is good, keep working on at it. When you can begin to believe that you can be happy with or without H, this will go away. That doesn't mean you won't be in a R with him but that you can be happy either way.

Did I mention the livestrong list about detaching? I had that hanging on my fridge for a long time, just to remind me of my goal.

What is your impression of Co-dependent No More?