I am finding this discussion quite interesting. I am sitting at 7 months post bomb, but about a year and a half total into H's MLC.
He has been home this whole time. He mentioned leaving a few times around BD, but never did. He would pace around the house like a caged animal, or lay on the couch staring blankly at the tv. If I had to hear one more huge sigh from him, I was going to scream.
He hasn't acted like that in a long time, and I think the time for him to leave has passed. But who knows.
Living with him has had good and bad aspects. The bad... Well, living with someone who acts crazy. The good? Seeing changes in him I may not see if not around him all the time.
What interests me in this thread is the discussion about replay, depression and the other stages. What I have witnessed from my H is him cycling through the stages while continually being in replay. In the anger stage he was mean and cold, that's when bomb was dropped. Depression... He got pretty low. In reading HB's description of being on the verge of tears all the time and cutting themselves down in word and action, that summed up H's behavior.
He would say things like "I hate myself", "I f-ing disgust myself", "I'm a f-ing miserable mess", and "I'm a failure as a father and a husband". There were times I was left speechless as not knowing what to say to such self loathing.
He has withdrawn from most everything, except his parents/brother. He's stopped talking to his best friend (which of course is the friend's fault). During his anger/replay stage, he was going out every weekend and staying out till 3:00 am. If he even does go out now, he's home early.
The OW, which he has denied of course, has been lurking this whole time.
Now, not sure where he is at in his journey. He seems more like himself as time goes on, but I keep my distance and try not to get my hopes up. Not sure if he has already hit rock bottom or not. Guess only time will tell.
Am curious to hear if anyone else has witnessed these types of cycles with their S.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
