Journaling: Today was a pretty lazy day. We finally had a decent rain and I stayed indoors. I replaced the garbage disposal. The old one stopped working and began to leak a few days ago. I had to reach into emergency funds to purchase the replacement and an additional $100.00 for installation seemed a bit steep on my budget.
The job took about an hour and a half longer than I thought it should, but all is well with the installation. I haven’t had anything to grind in it, but the motor runs, the head spins and it isn’t leaking.
My son stopped by and picked up his uniforms. We chatted for a bit. They are almost completely unpacked and have begun to hang pictures and such. DIL said she likes the decorating part of moving into a new place. I suppose that is natural, adding ones personal touches.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Today would have been 30. We even had plans. I know what I need to do to get through. I know I will persevere. This is a bump in the road that has been looming for some time. It was a milestone I set and made important to myself so many years ago. So it has meaning to me and I am sad.
It has come. Time continues. Sunrise, Sunset the world does not end and people little note the passing of this day. I doubt even she will spend as much time reflecting.
We had by my assessment 27 good yrs. I did not quit. I did not abandon so it matters little to the practical matters at hand what I think. That matters to how I feel. Get over it, get beyond it.
I need to get to a place where I can look back at 27 yrs and smile, not lament why we did not continue. There is much more work for me to do.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
what a beautiful way to commemorate this day, by even starting to realize what you had, the good years. please take extra special care of yourself today. i will be thinking of you and your strength and wishing you well.
((( )))
Me(f): 51 W: 41 DP:8 M:3 T:10 "W not happy" 7/11 D final: 8/13
Ah, JS, this sprang into my mind: "This is the day that the Lord has made, and we must rejoice in that," but it is also a special day for you for it is the day when you made those vows 30 years ago. Tomorrow will be another day the Lord has made for us to rejoice. You've had 27 years ... that's more than most people can say.
Celebrate those 27 years ... you don't know what she's doing, or how she's feeling. She may be looking back and wondering what went wrong. Take a moment to think on her, and the good that's in her, then move on, mentally speaking. As I said, tomorrow is another day and you will get past this.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
1000, A milestone of sorts? I suppose so. Better make it a good post. Thanks for the pressure KD.
@Val:((((Val)))) Thank you, I am not there yet. I am better. This was like the closing of a chapter. I can accept I’ll open the book again but for now it’ll sit on the coffee table for a while.
@KG: There were many good years, some great, and there are many good memories. We lasted 29yrs and I wanted to continue, after all I was not married to the wicked witch of the west.
@BeingMe:Thank you for the Psalm. I am not ready to celebrate, perhaps someday. For now I am keeping the memories pleasant.
@Gunny: Stay positive, stay motivated. Semper Fidelis
Journaling: We feel what we feel and this most recent drama was self induced. Realizing that make me wonder how much I may have been able to previously avoid.
This was self induced as I had built up our 30 year anniversary as a milestone. It was something we did throughout our marriage. We would set goals and timeframes to achieve them. Wedding anniversaries particularly the major ones lent themselves as check points. 30 was the last one I had placed any significance upon. Now that the last mile stone is past I feel better about moving on. Silly I suppose, but for some reason I needed to stand and wait for a time.
We had plans and I had banked resources against those plans. So now I have until 2014 to burn through 200K+ air miles. I ought to be able to make a few vacations out of them. Next year should prove interesting and memorable. I have no idea when where or how yet. I have not begun to plan how to expend those resources.
There are a few adventures I have yet to issue orders on. It is time to complete planning and get to it. I was waiting for my budget to sort out, the kids to get settled and 30 to come and go.
I spoke with my daughter last night. We had gone for a walk on Tuesday night. She wanted to give me support, but she needed to vent and that discussion continued last night. She has become the explainer to the family for her mother’s behaviors. She should not assume or be placed in that position. I do not know if she will affect a change to that situation. It is her issue to resolve.
My DIL brought the GD by on Wednesday evening. There was some mail she needed to pick up at the house and we visited for about an hour. GD is beginning to crawl. I told DIL she’ll be climbing curtains before the year is out. I feel good about how my relationship with my daughter, son, and daughter in law is progressing.
Despite all that has happened I want them to have a positive image of XW. I make a personal point not to say negative things about XW especially when doing so would permit me to join a discussion. I have attempted to remind them of pleasant memories. This is difficult to do with DIL as she has only spent limited time with XW and most of that was while XW was in crisis. I am not a saint I have moments of resentment. I attempt to keep and vent those in private as no good will come of them and they are counterproductive to my goals.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Despite all that has happened I want them to have a positive image of XW. I make a personal point not to say negative things about XW especially when doing so would permit me to join a discussion. I have attempted to remind them of pleasant memories. This is difficult to do with DIL as she has only spent limited time with XW and most of that was while XW was in crisis. I am not a saint I have moments of resentment. I attempt to keep and vent those in private as no good will come of them and they are counterproductive to my goals.
^^^ So awesome. You have deeply impacted my life.. I'm so honored to call you "friend".
Keep on keeping on!
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
@Val, one never knows. Over the years I have made so many trips into the valley. It has gotten to the point where I pick the airport to fly into based on where I will need to spend my time. I just took my daughter to the airport. She is attending a “con” in Pasadena. So it made sense for her to book a flight into Burbank and shuttle over to the hotel. I am glad she is getting away for brief while.
Journaling: This should prove to be a good weekend. I’ll visit with S, DIL and GD tonight. I have some mail to deliver. They’d have picked it up, but I offered delivery as a means to visit them for a change.
Saturday, my sister is arriving for a week’s visit with mom. She doesn’t know it yet, but I have jobs planned for her. Mostly standing near the base of a ladder with a cell phone in case I fall, but if she is feeling ambitious there is an ash tree the borers got to that is in need of felling.
Sunday my niece and her fiancé have a house warming that is the first gathering o the clan since the graduation parties. I’m looking forward to it
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
Mostly standing near the base of a ladder with a cell phone in case I fall, but if she is feeling ambitious there is an ash tree the borers got to that is in need of felling.