Should I initiate R talk?

[Arsene]

Ok, here is an update on my life.

Managed to order DR and Love Must Be Tough last night(just couldn't afford the others right now - even this is setting me back quite a bit)and with the express delivery, I should get them before the 13th of this month or at least I hope so because on the 15th everything is closed for the end of fasting holiday and even couriers (UPS, DLL, TNT) close shop for 10 days.

Today, I started my meditation lessons which I think are going to help me with my 180s. The whole concept is about replacing your "old" thoughts with new ones. I enjoyed the lesson and I know i can learn a lot about figuring myself out.

I also got myself a massage to help me relax and then I spoke to the director of the language training centre of one of the local universities about teaching English in exchange for lessons in the local language. He seemed receptive to the idea and I might even get a job out of it.

By the way, my job interview of yesterday wasn't really for a job but for a partnership.

When W found the school where we registered out D8, she met the owner who is a very nice man. They talked at length then and she was inquiring as to the possibility of getting work there for herself as a music or English teacher. Apparently at that time, the talk turned to me and the owner expressed an interest about me and that is how I managed to get the interview.

Problem is, W never told this man about our sitch and during the interview he expressed that he would love for me and W to meet him and his W to further discuss how we can work together.

I didn't know what to say then so I told him I'd talk to my W about it, which I did, in as detached a way as can be possible. At first she seemed kind of interested and when she went to pick up D8, that afternoon, she even told the staff that we would be there for the meeting.

This morning, I got a text from her where she stated that she thought some more about it and that she wasn't comfortable with it anymore and that she thought we should tell the owner about our status. I simply replied that I understood and that I would tell the owner of the school today when I picked up D8.

This I did and the owner of the school was shocked and saddened by this news. He asked me why I didn't want to be with my W and I corrected him saying that it was the other way around. he also asked me if I still loved my wife and I told him I did. I then had to excuse myself and leave. I had forgotten how nosy/inquisitive the locals were.

I hate the fact that W decides to leave and I'm the one who has to tell people about it. I had to break it gently to D8 and many of our mutual friends, and now this. I guess it's no one's business but on the other hand I don't really know what to tell people when they ask. Ironically that's one of the reason W said she'd wanted a Divorce last week. To make it easier to tell people about it. I told her then that I understood but that it really was no one's business, what we were going through. And now this!

Nonetheless, the owner's parting words were "I'll contact you later. I need you to be a part of this". I'm not sure what that means exactly. I don't know if I got the "job" and if I do, what the terms will be so I'm still on the look out for something until this becomes more concrete.

I'm still a bit in the dumps but using the meditation techniques is helping me to keep things in perspective. I think it'll also help me detach as some of the main "sins" we need to get rid of to achieve "inner peace", according to the guru, include anger, greed, lust and attachments, all of which I could do without.

Thanks for sticking around.

Cheers!