A Huddle of Turtles

[zig]

hi KD - s didn't believe in the easter bunny or santa for that matter.

he sort of looked disdainfully at us as we went on about santa as in give me a break guys, do you really expect me to believe that!!

he would almost roll his eyes when i would exclaim in the morning that the cookies and milk were gone. and i would feel a bit foolish!!

i think he senses something is going on, something he doesn't understand but causes him to feel very uncomfortable. but he cannot ask because it's as if it doesn't exist, since all of us are acting "so fine", except that his dad's moved out and is building another house and that doesn't feel good to him. l except for h who had been very inconsistent in his moods until a few weeks ago. now, thankfully, he is more consistent.

i think right now, i am past the dilemma of the lying thing. it's more about moving towards what action i need to take. the one of not doing anything at all, or the one of just talking this out with h as i mentioned earlier.

i suppose one thing that puzzles me, and i know this is a personality trait of mine. when i see a potential problem, i like to take action to avert it. is that controlling? to me it's the same kind of common sense that if you saw a brick falling you would step out of the way, not stand there and let it hit you and say it is what it is.

same here - i see the potential problem of this little girl saying something to s which would cause unnecessary hurt and confusion for s. why not avert that, instead of letting it happen?

of course that is my opinion and in the past i would have taken it on myself completely to do so, without so much as checking with h. now one could say there is a 180 here - i could involve h in the decision and even accede to how he wants to deal with it - he may say - doesn't matter if it happens. he may freak and say they can't come, and he may look at me like i'm a nut and say that's just not going to happen, why would you even think that.

i don't know if that's a good 180 to make or not - but it would surely BE a 180 - actively involving h in a difficult emotional decision - something to think about.

besides i'm kind of fed up with the situation - tired of protecting his interests and saying to myself - oh he can't deal with this or that. maybe it's time for him to deal with some of this himself. i can't say it wouldn't be interesting to find out what he would decide - there would be a lot of behind the scenes info about where he's really at! not that i would do it for that reason - it would just be bonus material