New to separation. Am I doing the right things?

[Denver_2010]

I am sorry but I don’t remember who wrote this, I believe it was either accuray or denver.

"I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I have not changed my mind on that. But I understand that you are not happy, that you don't feel happy or complete inside. You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we can be partners and will share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team but I won't stand in your way, however I also won't help you leave this marriage or our family. I hope you do find the happiness you’re looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."

Is this maybe a premature response for now? I am thinking this is a needed response only when it gets to that “final hour stage” which I am not at right now.

Use that if she presses you to file or help her file. It isn't after the last resort technique. Only how you respond if you are put on the spot to move forward with a D that you don't want.

The after the last resort is either a) the ultimatum which you have to be prepared to follow through on, or b) just flat telling the S that you are done and are going to file for D (no ultimatum given).

I did end up doing the after the last resort technique, option B, but not until I had exhausted everything else.

That line I quoted that you now quote was used 3 weeks into my sitch when my W asked me to go to the courthouse and file with her. I said those words to basically say 'no, I'm 'not going to do that'.

Kaffe is correct. There is no need for a response to her text. Let it be. Remember, the WAS is just as confused as we are, maybe more. One day they think one thing, and the next they may think something completely different.

Let your W's statement be for now. If she confronts you again with it, then maybe you can use something along the lines of what I told W.

But maybe she won't bring it up again for a while.

my 2 cents

Denver