Holy crap!!!!! I must have really messed up today!!! W just got REALLY nasty with me. She’s like a pissed off lion, ready to attack. I am the epitome of all evil. I am nothing but a scum bag. The wrath has been released on me!!!!! I don’t know if it was the previous email I shared but check out this text I just received from W, wow!!!!!! She’s one livid and scorned woman right now, man o man. Let me tell ya, this is some damn fun stuff to go through. WTF, WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO RIGHT NOW? Does anyone have a freakin sedative because if I ever needed one, now’s the time!!!!
So, W has never mentioned divorce until now. She's always said this is "just a seperation", haaa. She can’t believe where we are financially. Since our separation I have consistently been paying her the agreed support amount on time and I will continue to keep my promise.
I had to change cell plans today. I was paying way too much because she was on my line and then she changed services a couple months ago when she got her “high class fancy phone”. In essence I was then paying for an additional line that wasn’t being used.
In an effort to reduce my expenses I just changed cell services today to save me over 100.00 a month and to start receiving texts. My text feature on my old archaic blackberry has been busted for over a year. Today I bought an inexpensive, modest and basic android with a very reasonable call plan, and now I get this!!!! I know it does no good trying to justify my new penny pinching approach to W but I made a good decision today and I never buy anything for myself. She has NO IDEA that I am saving money by doing this. Anyway, here’s the text I just received.
"Ok, so you have a new phone? That will make coordinating things much easier! I hate to tell you this via text but there is no way in hell we are getting back together! Everything needs to be cordial and for the kids, but this is all exactly why I left! I want a divorce! I can’t believe where we are…"
Hey rough, just leave it... at least for now. Your email stated that you'd let her know by tuesday morning about your availability on saturday. follow up on that.
Leave the text. There is nothing in it that needs to be responded to. Her only question was rhetorical.
She vented for what ever reason she vented. She had her reason and you will likely never know. But it's her reason and not yours to own the spew.
I am sorry but I don’t remember who wrote this, I believe it was either accuray or denver.
"I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I have not changed my mind on that. But I understand that you are not happy, that you don't feel happy or complete inside. You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we can be partners and will share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team but I won't stand in your way, however I also won't help you leave this marriage or our family. I hope you do find the happiness you’re looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."
Is this maybe a premature response for now? I am thinking this is a needed response only when it gets to that “final hour stage” which I am not at right now.
Just to be clear, MWD indicates that AtLRT and Ultimatum both precede the LBS filing.
ie. Within a set period of time, perhaps a week, the LBS MUST file.
AtLRT and Ultimatum both need to be from a firm position in the mind of a LBS because if you are not prepared to file, then both techniques are simply viewed as a tactic to get the WAS back.
I am sorry but I don’t remember who wrote this, I believe it was either accuray or denver.
"I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I have not changed my mind on that. But I understand that you are not happy, that you don't feel happy or complete inside. You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we can be partners and will share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team but I won't stand in your way, however I also won't help you leave this marriage or our family. I hope you do find the happiness you’re looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be."
Is this maybe a premature response for now? I am thinking this is a needed response only when it gets to that “final hour stage” which I am not at right now.
Use that if she presses you to file or help her file. It isn't after the last resort technique. Only how you respond if you are put on the spot to move forward with a D that you don't want.
The after the last resort is either a) the ultimatum which you have to be prepared to follow through on, or b) just flat telling the S that you are done and are going to file for D (no ultimatum given).
I did end up doing the after the last resort technique, option B, but not until I had exhausted everything else.
That line I quoted that you now quote was used 3 weeks into my sitch when my W asked me to go to the courthouse and file with her. I said those words to basically say 'no, I'm 'not going to do that'.
Kaffe is correct. There is no need for a response to her text. Let it be. Remember, the WAS is just as confused as we are, maybe more. One day they think one thing, and the next they may think something completely different.
Let your W's statement be for now. If she confronts you again with it, then maybe you can use something along the lines of what I told W.
But maybe she won't bring it up again for a while.
my 2 cents
Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
