Hmmm... Ok well what HB described is what XH was like the last month and a half he was here. When he said he needed to leave because he felt like he was losing his mind, I flat out believed him because he was acting very bizarre like that. It seemed to carry out into him being alone for his month and a half.
*****I just went through and re read this. Sorry guys this is a big Vent coming on here.... his behavior has just been so crazy!
It was horrible. He couldn't sleep but a few hours every night. I could feel his pulse through the sheets. He would come home for lunch and not eat but sit at his desk and close his eyes and nap, totally silent. He normally would eat and plug into his video game with head phones on. Normally he'd socialize with us. But then as he became angry, other times he wouldn't say a word and walk out and leave. Other times he'd say good by an hug the kids.
The last few weeks he was angry, haughty and arrogant. Then when he told me he was unhappy he decided to rev up the sex life. That was nice for a week. Then after that he fell silent again looking as if he had lost his best friend. Guess he knew he was about to because then he told me he had to leave because he thought he was going crazy. He said couldn't figure out if it was him, if it was me or if it was something else, but figured it was him.He said he didn't know if it would take 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years to figure himself out. Then he asked me if he should get a motel or an apartment. He then fell into tears, just sobbing about what a failure he was and that he failed me and the kids and he just couldn't do it anymore, and that he tried as hard as he could. At the time I couldn't tell what he was trying to tell me. I couldn't figure out if he was saying he was leaving for good and he was sorry about it, or that he just felt like a flat out failure...but for what I didn't know! I was just blown away but tried hard to keep it together. My mind was spinning. Then after a while when we were in the bedroom talking he fell into tears again, rocking himself back and forth talking about what a failure he was, and he knew he needed psychiatric help but he had to go and find his "happy". When I mentioned us getting help together I got the " it's too late" line. He calmed down and then all the sudden his attitude changed after I agreed he needed to leave. It changed almost like a kid that throws a tantrum to get his way. All the sudden he was happy. Was this all a show just to get me to agree to leave instead of him walking out?
Two nights later he tore into me verbally by text like he had never done before in our lives together. The next day he asked me out for Mother's Day Dinner because he'd "never leave a friend alone on Mother's day". On Mother's Day he called his mom and told her he was divorcing me! 3 days later he was wanting my help in him getting a certain apartment. During the next 2-3 weeks moved out most of his stuff in the house but was texting me constantly. Spew here, BFF there. Then he turned around and invited me and the kids to his apartment for dinner.
Ok Im rambling here... Im just saying his behavior is so bizarre, I truly wonder if he's bi polar! The girls say he goes through spurts of talking alot, and they can't get a word in edgewise, then after a few weeks he slows down and doesn't say much.
I don't know guys...Im still in relationship autopsy but able to do it objectively now. His moods still swing and the girls are now noticing it and are expressing frustration with the OCD stuff. I guess he's now prone to mean joking with D12 now. As much as I had hoped I didn't have to deal with his antics anymore, when the girls come home frustrated and wondering why the heck he does certain things, I can't ignore that! I need to listen to them and comfort them without coming across as judgmental or critical towards him, but be truthful at the same time.
Oh another thing he's pulled lately...he didn't allow D9 to bring home a mathbook they purchased at the library book sale because he felt our cats would just ruin it so it has to stay at his house. Now D9 is saying she's going to start sneaking stuff home in her back pack! D9 is upset because she does her homework here at home most of the week during school and wants to study it here.
Do I encourage the girls to assert themselves with him? that's the only thing I know to do because if I step in cetainly it's nothing but another venom spewing fight coming on...of course depending on what mood he's in.
