Hello Lilly, first off thank you for the wonderful advice. I have been seeing a family counselor at the WOunded Warrior Clinic and have invited H but he has yet to go. Trust me, I called BS on his excuses from the get go, and even called his Behavioral Health Doctor and went to an appointment with him about it and we touched the subject but didn't dive in, I should have been stronger and just said it-- put it out there, instead of tip toeing around it, but I can't change it now. Once H is on his ETS leave, which will start next month I do want to suggest that we go see a counselor where he is honest about the affair and that he do the same with his individual conselor. I don't want to force him to talk, but I do feel a lot of this is deeply rooted and related to his war issues, and I know he does too. Its something he has to get to the bottom of. I did consult a military family lawyer, but he seemed more into "Screwing my husband over" than just giving me a peaceful divorce. He was like, take your husband's credit card and charge $4500 for my retainer and lets get started. I don't want to go to court over things. I just want an amicable process, that as little pain as possible if we even divorce. WIth my husband getting out around Thanksgiving and us being married 10 years in January I would have a right to ask a judge to honor a smaller percentage of the 50 percent because of how close wer were, but don't have the 100 percent. I am still staying in the house and won't take my name off of it, if we do split we just need to decide what we are going to do about it. Sometimes I talk out the side of my mouth, and as you know, so many people- like close friends and relatives are quick to judge and steer us "in the right direction" such as, move out, get your name off that house, he is a sinking ship, don't let him take you down too... yes, his life is changing, he made some mistakes, but even if he is a sinking ship, its one that I love and vowed for better or worse, sickness and in health... and my heart won't let him abandon him now... I'm not ready yet.. I may act all strong and confident, but it comes in waves... and then I lose it... at least I am not crying every day and eating better and taking care of myself more... I appreciate all the helpful information.. I have been utilizing the military one source and will also demand counseling once this is over, regardless of if it is online, military or a workbook we do together in private... something that works on us... thanks again for stopping by my crazy life story
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
