Regarding snooping, on p216 MWD states, "You also have some investigative work to do. No, I don't mean snooping around to find out what is really going on. Since you can't approach your spouse with any information you discover, you are only hurting yourself by snooping. You need to figure out what is so darn appealing about this OP."
That is all I can find, regarding the term snooping.
MWD stresses the importance of forgiveness regarding an A.
"The lack of forgiveness imprisons you. It takes its toll on your physical and emotional health. It keeps you stuck in the deepest of relationship ruts. No matter how justified you feel about your point of view regarding your partner's insensitive behaviour, you are still miserable."... without forgiveness.
And on the AP not ending the affair:
"If you are considering trying to save your marriage when your partner is unwilling to end the affiar, you can count on receiving lots of advice from people who know about the situation. The will undoubtedly tell you to stop being a doormat and go on with your life...", etc...
And from my interpretation suggests that the choice is up to the BP and that "Fighting for your marriage under these circumstances takes courage, stamina, and blind determination. There will even be days when you question your sanity."
Yet, it is may be desired by the LBS to make sure they've done everything humanly possible... that's the choice of the LBS...
