Where do I go from here?

[lillystillinlove]

Hopeful,

I'm calling BS on the counselling while in the military and adultery being against the UCMJ. Yes it is against the UCMJ, not usually an offence that is enforced, will our newly "out" members be prosecuted for violations they commit, I don't think so. I'd say adultery would be a charge added to a "greater" offence to speak to character. The UCMJ does not play as his excuse for not getting counselling. There is still patient / DR confidentiality. The only thing a counselor (military or not and most are not) can do is to get help for someone that is a danger to themselves or others. Now, he and you can get online help for counselling through tricare by phone or even skype. The military is fully aware of all the issues a combat vet can suffer from and the damage it can cause spouses. For him check into the wounded warrior program, not all wounds are visible and PTSD can have serious effects. FYI -Tricare calls "MC" Family counselling. I actually have a good friend that assists members and spouses/family members deal with these kinds of issues. Use the benefits available to you while you are still married if you are looking at divorce. As for my knowledge in this area, I grew up in, joined and married a man in the military. Of my 43 years of life, at least 32 have been directly involved with it, I still work for them as a civilian.

Divorce and the military, check with the JAG (that may get him in a bit of trouble) they may have resources available for spouses. If not check with the family service center. Be fully aware what you are entitled to because you are his spouse. Know what benefits you can retain and how much of his retirement you can claim. If you get a lawyer, be sure they have dealt with military divorce and retirement benefits.

Not trying to hi-jack I just want you to be sure you protect yourself. For those not very familiar with the military, spouses not familiar with the way things work, sometimes the member can forget to provide that information. When he starts to go to his meetings for transitioning out, you are allowed to attend, you should go there is a lot of information relevant to you as the spouse.

I hope you get what you want and your husband gets the help he is entitled to and deserves.