Wow Rough I gotta tell you that Accuray is so right about the anniversary thing. I knew Im likely to feel the same way in November if we're still apart by then, but lets face it, the only reason you would call to see if you could take the kids to dinner is on the hope that she would say well its our anniversary i'll go to. Maybe I can simply read it b/c its something I would do too, but its pretty transparent and even if she didnt see the scam in it, it would probably only serve to hurt you if she let you take the kids and acted like it was just another day.
Trust me Im not here to bust someone's balls but I can see myself in your thought process so stinking much on this one...and I've been consciously trying to make sure I don't set myself up for heartache that isnt necessary at this point. A friends wife said that since my W isn't ready to talk to me yet maybe I could write her a letter, and I thought about it, but there are really only two problems with it: Firstly im sure i'd sit around waiting for her to either send one in return, or call to acknowledge the things said in the letter and it would only hurt/frustrate/whatever else me if she didnt. And secondly im not gonna put to paper anything I did "wrong" in our marriage that she might hand to a lawyer down the road.
I tell you that to tell you that while im about 3 weeks behind you on the seperation thing....I agree with you completely. I overthink things...the hurt is still very real and very raw and I worry myself sick over the smallest things sometimes. My wife actually showed up at church yesterday and that should have been a great day for me, but I saw an email she sent a friend of a new blouse that put me into a tailspin that I still haven't shaken. Its so ridiculous how this goes....I was having a good week last week...got a little down on Friday...had a great weekend and then Sunday night saw something that triggered old feelings in me and i've been so far down since then that I don't know when i'll come back from this one.
Are you still working your second job? Hopefully you can get the finances thing worked out quickly. I dont know how bad it is for you, but I know for me i've cut out ALL unneccessary spending and am focused on getting that part in order right away. I have a a huge business note each month, and with my wife's salary and mine it wasn't a big deal....now on mine alone its a pretty big deal. Nothing I can't handle, but it means that I can't be carrying around $10,000 + in credit card debt plus other payments. I dont know if you have the option, of if you have anything you can sell, but often times thats a quick way to turn things around.
I spent alot of money on some unnecessary things over the years that im in the process of giving up now...mostly my wife and I had 5 vehicles total and there are only 2 of us that drive in the household so the easiest way to get some cash flow is to sell 1 of my trucks and both my "toy" cars and use that money to pay off basically everything except the house and my business loan.
Again I dont know how much debt you carry, or if ou have anything you can sell, but I again agree with Accuray that the best thing you can do right now is focus intently on fixing that and then move on to the other stuff.
