So, KD, "So I was only pointing to something that I would point to myself. That I should not hold my past judgement on someone as people can and do change and if they don't, it is simply who they are and that is OK."
I want to think through that. I was kind of bean-counting, but meaning it more in a way of recognizing that our values are different about showing love and celebrating occasions. I'm not judging him, really, because either he's someone who just doesn't get into that stuff or he's someone who doesn't care about me. And that is ok. We'll get unmarried and go on our separate ways.
But if somehow, some way, he decides he does want this life with me, it would be because he's changed, or interested in changing. Because I've changed. You can't assume that someone loves you and allow him to say he just doesn't "get into" things that show love. You need to ask for what you need that shows you love, and make decisions based on whether your request is respected and responded to.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
