Snodderly left a wonderful link to her posts in regards to an MLCer friend she had years ago. Thank you Snodderly for sharing that with us. Wow, that was such an eye opener for me, as to the turmoil this man went though. Also it was a comfort to me because I saw some characteristics in her friend that I do see in XH.
I wanted to start a thread about the MLCers and certain changes that might be noted that may signal their "descent to inevitable crash and burn", or AKA hitting rock bottom as we say.
I think this could be happening with XH....the beginning that is. Whether he truly crashes and hits reality hard, well it depends on how well he can stay in denial at this point guess. But on the other hand, we all know that the trip through the tunnel can and will happen to some of the MLCers in our lives. I would like to open up on what we can expect from the MLCers during this time, in order to better prepare ourselves for the next cycle.
You know I've felt kinda silly at times coming here to the boards now that Im 4 months "freshly divorced" and a free woman. But honestly, in my experience, these MLCers never really do let go. Maybe temporarily, but they don't. Now that the fog has cleared for me (but the sting still there) I can objectively look back at this last year and see that XH really has hung on....with claws out! Back to the Feral Cat scenario... !!! We talk about us having to detach, but really do these MLCers ever really detatch in a healthy way? It sure doesn't look like it, at least in my sitch.
To open things up, I've gathered some interesting facts over time. Knowing XH the way I do, and the facts I know, I think reality is hitting XH in the head now....and of course he's angry so I still get spew.
Ok... So Ex is the main bread winner not only for himself, his OW, and his children and ex wife.
He blew thousands of dollars duing major replay stage and has nothing to fall back on.
His wages are attached for child and spousal support, so his paychecks are much less than he's used to.
He now relays the message often to the girls, that their cell phones may be turned off and the netflix access may be shut off because he may not be able to pay the bill. I wouldn't be suprised thathe hopes this will get back to me in hopes I will offer to pay it. Not gonna happen considering he makes double my wages, I can't afford it, and I don't feel sorry for someone that hides a substantial amount of money under his family's nose just to serve himself. Time to wake up to reality.
OW works part time but apparently isn't helping with much or I would think this wouldn't be an issue. Ow still purposely stays home everytime XH takes the girls outside the house to do something or go somewhere. This is going on 8 months now? Obviously she has no iterest in becoming a blended family, and I half way wonder if she's lining someone up to be her next bread winner. XH can't blow money on her anymore, cause he blew it trying to keep it from me.
A month ago he completely went bezerk and tried to send the police over to my house over D12's ipod touch missing. I was then insulted relentlessly for not doing what I should've done and call the police myself, therefore he had to do something because I wasn't doing it.
XH over time seems to be getting a little relentless with the power and control issues. WE live on the West Coast. D12 wanted to have a beach party for her birthday next week. XH told her is was not a good idea because we could get radiation from debris being washed up from Japan!
D12 told me that when they take walks, he warns the girls not to pick up bird feathers because they could get rabies.
It was relayed to me that Xh feels he can't take his camping trip with the girls because the girls and I have alot of other things going on this month, and he just doesn't know what to do for his birthday or camping now.
Overall I have a sense that reality is showing it's ugly face to XH. This is good.
At the same time...Im wondering "what's next with XH"?
!!! We talk about us having to detach, but really do these MLCers ever really detatch in a healthy way? It sure doesn't look like it, at least in my sitch. 
