Great point, they might fall under the “acts of service”, or just plain common sense category. Anyway, the kids hair is in good shape and I am owning these things without pointing them out.

Right before I dropped off the kids yesterday we stopped by the grocery store. I bought the kids some of their favorite foods and I called the W to let her know that I would be dropping the kids off shortly. I asked her if she needed anything from the store. She said, “No”. I am usually very business like and to the point with W so I don’t feel bad offering these minimal caring gestures on rare occasion. Anyway, I dropped the kids off and the groceries I purchased for the kids. I hope this was an ok thing to do?

3 months into this and the pain is still going full force. I am GUESSING it might get a bit easier but it will probably take a long time. If I didn’t get involved with DB the pain would be far worse (If that’s possible)

I think I am doing a good job not pursuing. I have minimal communication with W. I do a great job cutting the conversations short. Finances are still a mess. I feel there’s been a very slight improvement and I really hope I can turn this issue around!

In a couple days it will be our 11 year anniversary. Let me tell you, I am jumping up with joy for this one. I am sure this will be a highly romantic day with lots of “I love you talk”, sappy cards, hugs, candlelight dinner, flowers, and a fun time in the bedroom, NOT!!!! I just thought of something. I’ve never hired a hooker before, that would be a good 180!!! Ha, just kidding.

Ok, seriously. I think I know the answer to this one but help me out if you don’t mind. No mention of our anniversary to W, just act like it’s another day. I doubt W will bring it up however it’s a good idea to know how to respond if she does brings it up. If she says something nice or loving (highly doubtful), just mirror and say the same thing back. Otherwise, just another day. This is a bunch of BS but I am at least 50% responsible for all this havoc. Am I on the right track here?

I might ask W if I can take the kids out to lunch or dinner for a couple hours on our anniversary (of course not bringing up anniversary to W). If W volunteers to come, that would be great. One again, no expectations and it’s highly doubtful she would take me up on that one. Do you think this would be an ok question to ask W or should I probably just avoid even asking?

Me(M):38
W:43
Together: 14 Married: 11
D: 4 S:8
W wanted separation 5/5/12
Stopped living together 5/5/12
Currently DB’ing

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”.
Thomas Jefferson