BC, this is all good advice. I can understand your reaction, but you need to slow down your thinking and relax a bit. (to the old timers here, yes, I see the irony in saying this.)
Phrases like "smothering" and "different levels" are telling, right? Sounds like you've done great over the years and need to make a little adjustment now that your at altitude and cruising speed.
You said you show her every day how much you love her. How about every other day? Leave the in between days open for HER to show YOU how much she loves you.....when she's ready. Sounds like she might want you to do some things for you. Just a guess.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
BC, the guys are getting a kick out of me giving you advice I've been getting for two years. Heck, I think they even gave me that advice. They've been great for putting up with me here. No one even suggested I change my name to "Slow Learner", but I certainly am one. I admire you for all the work you put into your M.
Bad news, a little birdie (w's friend) told me my wife said she doesn't want to or doesn't know if she wants to be married anymore.
IF you are asking friends, etc...stop please.
I am sorry that you had to hear that news...as hard as it may be I would NOT contact your W right now.
Are you aware of an EA or PA that may be going on?
If I recall you guys work different shift and therefore do not spend any time together. Right?
How old is your W?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
We work different shifts but we have days off together sometimes
And what do YOU GUYS do on your days off? If you tell me, hang with the kids, laundry, or any other everyday thing then I say it is time to change it up.
Does your W have any hobbies? Does she have any goals?
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She told her mother there was no one else. Not sure how true that is, and I didnt ask for that information.
That's good...if you do happen to find out about someone else - do not lose your cool (and that WILL BE HARD).
Now that you know how she feels (albeit second hand) what are you planning to do?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
The only hobbies I have are my iPhone, and I've been playing guitar for 15 years
What OTHER hobbies do you WANT?
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Her parents seem to think she's incredibly stressed out about her job and school.
Then DO NOT PUSH HER….
Also earlier in your post you mentioned that your friend said that you may be overeacting, which may or may not be the case.
When we say to back off are you really giving her space while also trying to be out and about OR are you still in the house with her but in a different room?
I asked because based on her age, and based on what I interpret as her being a student, employee, mom and wife she actually may be feeling totally stressed out.
It appears that you live in NJ (do did I for a while) so add to the above the stresses of living in a busy city and chit dude, it may be a lot for someone that is 27 to handle.
I think you need to continue to give her space and also try and find some time for just the TWO of YOU. What hobbies or interest does she have? Has she ever said to you what she NEEDED in a partner? Do you meet those needs?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Leave the in between days open for HER to show YOU how much she loves you.....when she's ready. Sounds like she might want you to do some things for you. Just a guess.
what Kaffe said up there ^^^