OK, so the matter with the rings is she's not putting them on when she gets home.
From what it seems, she has her reasons and they appear to possibly be related to her depression. That sounds fair, to me.
I admit it bothered me when my W stopped wearing her rings (as opposed to the times they'd come off, then go on, then come off again)... So I get that... Yet, saying anything about them being off OR on... likely just felt like pressure to my W... so I stopped mentioning it... stopped focusing on it...
The rings... as we are told at the ceremony... are A SYMBOL...
What they are not... is a commitment... that only happens through actions... day after day after day...
In regards to her comment about the different levels the two of you are on...
That IS interesting...
Of course, it appears to be worded that she places you in an advanced / higher level than you... even though it could also be that she feels you are somehow below her... it would of course be strange for her to WANT to lower herself... So I'm guessing that would not be the case, rather it is the former...
So...
What are your options?
+ lower yourself to her level? It might sound like a bad thing. Still, what it simply could mean is that you behave more like a friend, than an H. It think maybe in some ways, this might be positive and something to investigate a little.
+ just simply do not pressure her into "getting to your level". She has some perception of what "level" you are at, in the R / M.
IDK, man... it all still just points back to her depression speaking...
So I still just think, as much as it sux, to just back off and give her space. BE as you would in day to day life. Cleaning, cooking, all that stuff... it needs to be done, whether she was there or not... but maybe you're stepping up TOO much... if you are cleaning every day, leave it a bit... give her a chance to step into it...
KWIM?
You want to support her, but not enable her, yet not smother her...
