The problem with that is that I do not want to portray myself as being insecure or weak by letting her know how I feel, or by asking her how she feels.
In order to rebuild the R though at some point YOU BOTH need to learn how to communicate. DB IMO, is really about learning how to communicate…about learning how to be true to oneself and also about learning how to respect someone elses CHOICES even when YOU DO NOT Agree.
Being able to articulate how YOU feel is NOT insecure – that said, what is insecure is projecting YOUR insecurities on someone else.
Quote:
I do not want to cross the line and create a negative image of myself on my W by asking too much
Don’t ask too much…Maybe a better way to approach it would be to let her know that if SHE ever needs to talk that YOU are there to LISTEN to her. She needs to feel comfortable talking to YOU.
Quote:
She started talking about our R, she focused on the stuff we did wrong back before our separation.
And what was that? What did she complain about? Do you agree with her about her complaints? Were they valid? If so, focus on changing them..and show her with YOUR ACTIONS.
Quote:
As I mentioned on my last email, she has being doing some stuff for me, like cooking, doing my laundry,
This ^^^ to me sounds like you are falling back into a ROUTINE one that maybe buddy she really does not like. Change it up a little man…why not do laundry together….why not sneak up behind her when she is doing laundry and plant a huge kiss on her neck and invite her upstairs. I will repeat stop doing the same things. Stop going to the same restaurants! Change it up.
Quote:
She said that everything was going to be ok, and that she really wants to work things out with us. Her attitude has changed since friday, she is more quiet, and does not engages on any communication. If I ask her something is just a simple yes or no. She apologizes about everything, and excuses her self by saying that she is tired or has a headache. She again tells me that everything is ok, and that with time we will be ok.
Papa…this may hurt man…..Sorry to say I think she is GRIEVING the loss of OM. Totally normal man. She loved him, she even went so far as to tell you that she did. I suspect though that that male Hispanic pride has a hard time hearing that chit. FTR, so would I…but hear it we must. Trust AA……she is trusting you right now…she is sharing things with you….. Let me show you…
Quote:
She said, "ok if it wasn't because he hit me, I would have chosen him. I still love you, but there is something missing between us."
She shared how she was/is feeling…..SOMETHING IS MISSING dude…I suspect (just my opinion) that it is the SPARK that one needs in a R to keep it alive. Find out the SPARK she needs dude…maybe it is sex, maybe she want to be wined a dined a bit, maybe she wants a hug…only you would know buddy.
Quote:
She said that everything was going to be ok, and that she really wants to work things out with us.
DID YOU SEE THIS ^^^^ in your post. Man, I would stop talking about OM ASAP. I would plan a weekend trip just you and her, I would plan an night on the town…maybe hit a club…a few drinks and then off to a hotel to do the nasty! AA, make her fall in love with you again dude – stop the same plain jane stuff.
Quote:
She said, she will use this dress when we get married.
How about instead of when you get married you could say….nah baby…you can wear that when I take you out to dinner at your fav place..cause we are gonna have a great time tonight.
Quote:
She is telling me she rather be with OM, but she is also telling me she is willing to work things out between us, and that someday we will get married.
I am not her but I think she is telling you that she loves you but she is BORED. OM made her feel special…it is your time to make her feel special.
As for OM, In your sitch I would do the following….. others may disagree but this is just my opinion. 1) I would let your partner know that maybe you guys should put an order of protection in place so that if he contact either of you again you will press charges.
Quote:
This is being bothering me, and I want to just let it go and continue with my life. The things that bother me about this is "Is she liying to protect me, not tu hurt me anymore? Is she liying to protect her self, and have the security that I will be there for her? I know I should not struggle with this things.
AA – stop trying to live in the past, stop trying to get all of the answers. Their will be a time for that but that time is not right now. FOCUS ON YOU and on having a GREAT (not just good) TIME with your partner.
Peace Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
