Had a wonderful vacation with my boys and just getting back to work today. It feels good to be back to a routine again, as much as I enjoyed the downtime.
I had a few of my girlfriends there, staying in the same community, which was great for me and my boys. STBX kept in constant contact with the boys. He mentioned to me how hard this week was going to be on him as the first 'family vacation' without him. I asked him to please not put that on the boys, and it sounds like he didn't.
Yesterday had a minor setback with STBX, as he came to the house to help S15 with his car and wanted to discuss some financials with me, specifically college tuition for S18. The conversation went well but after he left he texted me a few additional things re: the settlement, court and financials. He was getting a bit too friendly and crossed some of my personal boundaries. I was hesitant to draw that line again as I didn't have the energy for the fight post vacation.
But after a few more inappropriate comments, I will be setting that hard line again and expecting him to respect it. No contact means no contact. I need it that way, and if he needs to talk with someone he needs to find another person to talk to.
It's the old "give an inch take a yard". I am proud that it took me very little time to see it for what it was and draw that line again. That is progress.
I am so much happier when my boundaries are respected and I am focused on me and the boys, that is enough for me.
