Understand that you may be tempted to talk to him about the R. Resist that as much as you can. Talking about daycare could lead you to R talk. Stay focused on the convo. And anything he might lead into other than daycare, just listen and validate as best you can.
One of the challenges that most of us feel (being the LBS and even the WAS) is from other people telling us what we should or should not be doing. That happens here as well, of course. Here though, we like to do it under the premise of DBing and helping the LBS save themselves and possibly saving the M.
People have reasons to tell us what we should or should not do. What ever their reasons, the reality is, it is not THEIR M. So they are instructing us either based on their own bias (perhaps they've "been there") or they want you to feel better, or whatever...
In the end, this is about what YOU want. Until or unless YOU want something different. It is not to say that people don't give us good advice. It IS saying that... we need to filter through what is being said. Not throwing out GOOD advice, yet in the same token being open to what we think is BAD advice and at least considering it value or non-value accordingly.
Right now... You need to focus on YOU... and you need to focus on your child. Look at what is your responsibility for the breakdown of the M, do not own what is NOT your responsibility. Improve yourself by fixing things you could do better, and becoming a person that only a fool would leave.
And maybe... your M might be saved, in the process...
And... it all takes time... and patience... it is unlikely to happen over night... over a week... or even over a month... in EITHER direction...
