Forward. I no longer look for or even expect X to "come out" of her mlc. She is what she is. Sure, I never expected her to do what she did and treat me or especily her children the way she did but I now believe the tendencies for such behavior were there all along.
I remember you mentioned your X treated you badly, discounting your accomplishments and criticizing you during your M. I've seen that behavior before from insecure, selfish people who felt they had to pull others down to make themselves feel better.
The underlying character flaw is self-centeredness. My X traveled across the country to meet OMH's family for Thanksgiving one year. You'd think she would have wanted to spend Thanksgiving with her kids (that she recently opined are: "The reason I do everything I do"). Maybe your X didn't think his mother wanted to see her grandaughter. After all, it's all about him, his life, his new significant other and how he's taking care of her, the fabulous individual he is, after all. The thought may have never crossed his mind.
Their self-delusion or blindness to their own actions is amazing to me. As she argued how our kids should now live with her all the time the other day for vague reasons like they need to be with their mother and I can't care for them the way she does she ended the convo infoing me she would be out of the country most of her week with them and there would be a house sitter at her home who would watch them. He focus was on how excited she was about the trip as it's her first time to leave the country. The irony of her argument and her actions being counter intuitive never crossed her mind. Why not? Because it's not about what's best for the kids. It's about what she wants.
I think many of our X's were and still are damaged goods. There may have been a "crisis" which affected them to a degree but they've always been self centered.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.
