you are on a "normal" emotional roller coaster right now. It's understandable. We have all been there or are there.
Have you read the "37 rules" for newbies that ces posted earlier on your thread or that are stickied at the top of the newcomer's forum?
Take some deep breathes. There's nothing that you are going to be able to say or do that is going to make your H come back to you this instant nor chase him away, for good.
OK, that could be argued, but the reality is... it pretty much doesn't happen that way. This process takes time...
That time means you can stabilize yourself and do the DB work and perhaps your M can be saved.
It is unlikely to be saved if you are an emotional wreck. So you really do need to pull yourself together.
Have no talk with your H tomorrow about R (reconciliation). Just be there when he comes to see your child and listen to what he has to say. You do not need to say anything. IF he says nothing, so be it. Let him lead convo...
As Cadet mentioned earlier, your H is telling you he needs space... when the WAS says that, they will get that space, no matter what the LBS does... and that means running far, far away (emotionally or physically) in order to get that space. The sooner the LBS stops chasing, the sooner it is the WAS might stop running away.
I don't remember if you mentioned, have you read the book Divorce Busting or Divorce Remedy, yet?
