You will be proud. I did something for me tonight and it felt good. My D and I went to dinner at our favorite restaurant in the town we are in. I ordered my usual meal, but upgraded from the usual house wine. Then we split dessert and I ordered some champagne to go with it. And it felt good (although I am not supposed to be eating sugar). And it felt good.
I think my eyes are mostly open. 2 years ago I turned 40. I wanted a Jeep, which we got. Wanted a tatoo, which I didn't get and H hates. I wanted to play the steel drums again, which I did in middle school. So, I am not innocent. When we had the big fight, I got out of control and enraged. I honestly felt like I had no control over myself. Right now, my eyes are probably wide open.
We will go home tomorrow, probably get there later in the afternoon. I am not sure how to act. When I was happy and cheerful when I saw him, he told me I was acting like nothing happened.
I believe things happen for a reason. Unitl 7/30, 7/6 was the last time we discussed divorce. That night out AC went out and we went to different places. When he came home in the am, it was still out. When I came home, it was on. I sent him a text letting him know and also saying that someone was watching our struggles.
Now, our D is having major issues with her legs and needs to see a Dr. She cannot go up and down stairs and her legs are giving out under her and they hurt. I believe this is another opportunity for us to get our act together. To me, it is a sign.
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
