Chronic depression is... I think I'm being fair and realistic here... a little different than the depression of MLC.
Yes, depression IS depression. And perhaps in a way, this acting out of MLC could be seen as potential, suicidal behaviour. Yet it is very natural behaviours of teenagers and young adults. They're just putting final touches on their personal independence and figuring out what they want to be... "when they grow up"...
We talk about the work here... the DB work... as being the same for the LBS, regardless if their spouse is a WAS or in MLC. And that is without a doubt true. Some of the approaches for WAS and MLC are slightly different in that with a WAS, a LBS MIGHT see changes in the WAS when the LBS changes their behaviours.
That can also happen with MLC. But as we say about MLC, the only way past it is through it. And so any positive changes will really be strictly about our ability to cope and handle the sitch and hopefully having positive interactions with our MLCer during the process. Not that the MLCer will suddenly wake up and realize the mistakes they have made. Or that the MLCer will notice the changes and do an about face and come back to us, the person we love... that left...
The primary difference... MLC process can be a long process and until they are mostly through it, them "coming back" might be harmful for them and for the LBS. We can stay in the same house with them if we can deal with it or they can feel safe and comfortable. But they aren't coming back to us... until they are done...
So my personal approach is, act with good intentions, not bad. Regardless of whether someone is WAS or MLC. In the end, it is good for us. That doesn't mean we let them walk all over us. It just means that we respect them, even when they are not respecting us.
