I think I went to LRT because I am confused and overthinking 180 and everything else.
Good for noticing!
No really, not trying to be funny on that. THAT IS what LRT is for. To get you out of the sitch and take care of yourself, while you need to.
At the very least, it's PART of the reason to be LRT.
And LRT... is temporary...
Once you are stablized in your emotions... significantly detached... able to re-engage with your H...
Then re-engage with your H...
And that's when you can then decide if you will move forward... or on...
Regarding the bike license? I say "Go for it!" And if he's not willing to share the bike? Then talk to him about using joint money or assets to get yourself your own bike.
Not to spite him... just to do it... I love being on a bike. It's very calming, even when I'm riding aggressively...
But do it because you want to...
As for the plane, why are the two of you holding onto that asset, then? I'm sure he has no idea if he ever will again, so is holding on to it, "just in case"... but it seems a bit of a silly thing, if he never flies again...
We (my dad and I) held onto a plane for too long... and then it ended up getting practically scrapped due to an accident my father and uncle were in (no injuries)... at that time, the plane was only being used once or twice a year... just seemed a little wasteful and pointless, after the fact... no regrets of course, it was nice to have...
Regarding detaching and worrying that you don't want to be (think of yourself as) a failure in the M...
As time goes by, some of the sitches here get better, many get worse, many end in D...
I'm 21 months into me leaving. 27 months into the "sitch" as it were. ie. knowing things were going really south, too fast, and probably too far. 6 months into legal separation...
I don't consider myself a failure. I'm also... still not D...
LRT worked for me... I still don't know what my plans are, regarding the D. I do believe that I will be filing some time in the future. Right now, my reason for not filing is because I don't actually have the money socked away. When / if I finally do, I may have some other reason for not filing...
Or...
My W could eventually file... even though it really does seem that until now, she just does not want to... well... she just hasn't, even when I begged her to D me... and she had apparently already decided that we really were done, anyhow...
You will last as long as you last. Maybe you will D... maybe you will R...
For now... that does not have to be your focus. That is a future that will write itself... when ever it needs to...
