New to DB

[hopefulinga]

Thanks, LA. I think I went to LRT because I am confused and overthinking 180 and everything else. Our D was gone from 6/28 to 7/18, so she was gone when this first came up. During that time, something tragic happened to a family we know. I did a 180 there by letting him talk and acknowledging his feelings without giving my input at all. I was also saying things like "I understand...". I don't know if I got too comfortable or what. I was still staying pretty quite and not calling, texting, etc when he brought D up again on 7/30 and told me I was smothering him. So I'm a little bit in turmoil.

I don't know why I didn't tell him why I was crying. Our D was sitting there and she doesn't know anyting is going on. I think I was also afraid to talk about the motorcycle because that is what caused our initial blow out. being vulnerable would be a 180 and would be more like when we got married. I think I'm also so used to telling him and him trying to one up me or criticizem me, that I stopped being vulnerable.

Before we got married, I remember him asking me why I wouldn't look at him and he told me to let the wall down. The wall is back up and I'm struggling to let it go back down. I've thought a lot about it and would like to work on that.

I am not going to leave until we have some discussions about what is going to happen. Over the past 5 weeks, he's done nothing different than normal when it comes to our D. I wouldn't go anywhere until that is nailed down. I honestly think he is torn with what he wants, and that is part of why I suspect MLC. I also think that when gets overly upset or stressed duing the day, he is telling me it is over. Like he's trying to convince himself.

And dj, I will let you know what I come up with. I've ordered a few other books and will let you know if they help.

Being away is harder than I thought it would be. I am still pretty emotional and swing from we can make this work to I should just throw in the towel. I caved in and tried to call him a little while ago. He didn't answer and I didn't leave a VM. He's probably in the middle of something because he's actually been answering the phone more now than before he dropped the D bomb (odd, I know).

Our D is really having some problems with her legs and I am considering taking her somewhere while we are out of town and wanted his input.

I think my brain is mush.