This morning before H's work gig he said he doesn't care how his crew is perceiving him, while he smoked his cigarette.

He's so gross now, stating that being a good guy didn't work because he's out of time (too old for this work, too old) and he's not were he should be in life.

He says being an "I don't give a sh@t guy" won't do him good either but he welcomes the burn to see if he can walk away from the ashes. OMG!

I need to investigate a new phase for my life and my kids (like people are saying).

My D18 and I are a little stagnate, as we were suppose to be in another state looking at houses this August, to move the family for H's & S25, S21 work.

I'm not moving anywhere with him now...and I won't leave my house.

So new phase.....

1. Go back to school or work....decide which will be better long term investment.


I want to be more definite rather than guessing what I might do so I'm going to take more time with this.

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!