New to DB

[mamabird]

Hi Hopeful,
My sitch is similar to yours in some way. We sound a lot alike. My dad keeps telling me I should have been a lawyer because I can be a relentless bulldog at times. ;-)

It looks like you've gone right to LRT in your sitch. Since you are still living together, why not try a few 180s if you can? You have said you're critical, judgmental, controlling and don't show him respect. These are all complaints my H has about me, too, and since you're aware of these, that's the first step to changing them. I don't think there's a person out there who wants to be criticized, controlled, judged or disrespected, so if you can work on changing these habits, they will serve you better in any R going forward.

As far as the moving out is concerned, that struck a chord with me. My H basically threw me out (I had a texting A that he discovered) and told me never to come back. I complied because I had a free place to go and I thought it would help if I left. Now, all I think about is moving back into my house. Let HIM leave if he's so dead set on having his own space. It may be psychologically easier on you anyway.

One more comment - the day you were crying at the table, and he tried to show you some caring, why did you tell him nothing was wrong? Perhaps being a little vulnerable with him could be a 180 for you? Remember - do the opposite of what you are used to doing!!

Big hugs to you!