Punkin, I'm so glad you posted. You sound like you are getting your home together and I bet when you are finished the place will look beautiful!
Your xh sounds alot like mine and yes, I was the same way that you were. I have a feeling that many of us will see the "light" after a few years and come to realize that we all were wearing rose colored glasses.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
