So much has happened in just a week and things are just more confusing. Where is my husband? Sleeping in a hospital chair next to his mistress as her kidneys recover from renal failure. She has been sick all week, fever, vomitting, high temp, but doesn't have health insurance. After five days she finally went to the ER on Saturday, of course with H and has been there since Saturday because her kidneys were shutting down, now her father is on his way to her, and she isn't expected out until Tuesdsay.
What a roller coaster of emotions this is making me feel. I have always been in good health. In the 12 or so years that I have known my husband, I have never had an overnight hospital stay or been extremely sick, whereas she is always sick. Is it wrong to feel jealous? That she is experiencing something with my husband that I have never had?
At the same time, I haven't seen my husband since Thursday and its been okay. He is supposed to come home tomorrow to wash his clothes but I think I should leave before he gets here and one, give him time to himself, and two, ignore him until my plane leaves on Friday, that would mean that four days of not seeing eachother could easily turn into two weeks or three weeks of not seeing eachother, and I think thats a good thing.
I am at a loss for what to do. So much is changing. My husband will be losing his job with the Army around Thanksgiving, and needs to start looking for a job. I applied for a new job with a pay increase, and I have also been considering moving out of our home. I know people advise against that, but I am thinking that at this point, a real separation may be needed. Any suggestions? The problem I am having with our current living arrnagement is that he just pops in whenever he pleases. So here I am doing my own thing, and then BAM there he is, until she gets off work, and then I have to watch him drive away all over again, its torture. I tried to make a deal with him that he would be with her Sunday-Thursday and then come home Fri and Sat and i would stay with a friend, so kind of like we would never see eachother but not have to add any expense to our situation, and I suggested if he wanted to see me it would be planned out in advance and i would demand his undivided attention, meaning no texting or calling no phone period while we are together. So do I stay in our home? Or do i move into an apartment for six months or a year? Anybody have experience with either? I know a lot of changes are coming our way, but at the same time I do think some time apart, although we have a lot now, can be good. I think he needs a dose of how life will be without me, including no contact on the phone. Kind of just throwing it out there for someone to help. Thanks
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
